Charity Parrish

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

http://t.co/5rEuIHc0JF Human confrontation has gone from face-to-face to phone call to email to text to :/.

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

http://t.co/WmaoXzrkdD I call bullshit on these retro bottles of Coca-Cola. They make you add your own cocaine.

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

What's the handicapped parking situation at the special Olympics? http://t.co/6p1ASdtpW1

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

The worst part about blind dates is trying to find a restaurant with menus in braille. http://t.co/fBfMr14p9E

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

Bill Clinton's real-life aging looks like fake Back to the Future aging. http://t.co/naMTvUoFvg

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

http://t.co/bRnOXOl8cS At what age do you switch from puppy to dry dog food? My daughter is 14 months old.

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

http://t.co/Toeqszx6ZV Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork".

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

http://t.co/8TbNIVCNV0 Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence? http://t.co/sdu4qyqwlh

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

http://t.co/3nSwc8xGPP In Hidden Valley, childhood obesity is covered up in creamy ranch dressing.

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire. http://t.co/KkZ3qYAN

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

http://t.co/oO1fmKjy You're not an American until you've eaten more than the serving suggestion.

[Charity Parrish @ChatP]

I wish robot servants were affordable already. http://t.co/cATs6X9E