Books are my go-to distraction when submerged in ice baths for a testicle-punishing 10 to 15 minutes.
One night, the flavor du jour was The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey. One passage stopped me in my tracks a few pages in:
"The player of the inner game comes to value the art of relaxed concentration above all other skills; he discovers the true basis for self-confidence; and he learns that the secret to winning any game lies in not trying too hard."
The secret to winning any game lies in not trying too hard.
Feeling as though you are trying too hard indicates that your priorities, technique, focus, or mindfulness is off.
Take it as a cue to reset, not to double down.
Don’t worry about whether things will be hard. Because they will be. Instead, focus on the fact that these things will help you. This is why you needn’t fear them.
Tony Robbins believes that, in a lowered emotional state, we only see the problems, not solutions.
Let’s say you wake up feeling tired and overwhelmed. You sit down to brainstorm strategies to solve your issues, but it comes to naught, and you feel even worse afterward. This is because you started in a negative state, then attempted strategy but didn’t succeed (due to tunnel vision on the problems), and then likely told yourself self-defeating stories (e.g., “I always do this. Why am I so wound up I can’t even think straight?”).
To fix this, he encourages you to “prime” your state first. The biochemistry will help you proactively tell yourself an enabling story. Only then do you think on strategy, as you’ll see the options instead of dead ends.
“Priming” my state is often as simple as doing 5 to 10 push-ups or getting 20 minutes of sun exposure.
I often ask myself, “Is this really a problem I need to think my way out of? Or is it possible I just need to fix my biochemistry?” I’ve wasted a lot of time journaling on “problems” when I just needed to eat breakfast sooner, do 10 push-ups, or get an extra hour of sleep.
Sometimes, you think you have to figure out your life’s purpose, but you really just need some macadamia nuts and a cold fucking shower.