Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG)

Stand-up Comedian 😎

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

My favourite kid I ever taught when I was a swim teacher was this little 4-year-old Italian boy. One time he sneezed and nobody said anything so he just went “what? No bless yous for Giacomo?”

[Mint Comedy @real_mintcomedy]

Uncensored, unedited, streamed LIVE from the iconic Comedy Cellar this Thursday night! 🎤

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

If men had emotional lawyers

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

Being Trump must be so fun. I wish every time I had a mental breakdown someone asked, but how will the stock market react?

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

Avatar but it’s the rats in New York trying to avoid being killed by the city. The mayor must make a rat avatar to learn the ways of the rats

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

@philosophymeme0 Thanks for stealing this and not tagging me in it!

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

@MagosAfkar Thank you for posting this! Would never have seen they stole my content otherwise!

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

Wow @philosophymeme0 thank you so much for stealing my content and not even tagging me. That’s so cool of you

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

do you think people in China say, “I’d love to, but I actually had Chinese food last night”

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

I honestly thought this was a joke, like they photoshopped it, but no, genuinely, that's how tiny a baby panda is. I honestly cannot wrap my head around it. How do they go from that to that

[bear enthusiast @hourlyursus]

newborn panda cubs are not real bro

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

new recession indicator: my severely depressed friend has started to get his life together

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

A tree

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

Apparently if you’re right-brained you see a rabbit, if you’re left-brained you see a turtle.

What do you see?

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

This Halloween I’m dressing up as the greatest horror, the love people have for us that we’ll never truly know or experience

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

Now I’m throwing this out here, just speculating, but is there a possibility he had more than one aunt, or god forbid even an older family friend he refers to as “aunt”?

Or even that this aunt visited NYC at some point during those years?

[Jake Chapman 🇺🇸🚀 ✨🇺🇸 @vc]

Mamdani’s aunt didn’t take the subway after 9/11… because she didn’t live in NYC… she was working in Tanzania.

This sociopath can’t help himself

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

It's honestly ridiculous how bad I am at using my left hand. With my right hand, I can carry out complicated intricate hand movements. But everything I do with my left looks like a child doing it for the first time. I can't even write the letter A legibly, how pathetic is that

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

I was holding on to hope, but alas, my hands are tied by destiny and fate

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

A romantic comedy but the main character has some self respect

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

Imagine losing your Duolingo streak cause the clocks moved forward an hour

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

Wow great idea, I'll take it one set further! What if after the shutdown ends we create some sort of system where wealthier individuals consistently contribute some of their money for government programs to allow us to fund all sorts of things. Golly gosh just imagine

[Collin Rugg @CollinRugg]

JUST IN: President Trump says a "very wealthy gentleman" offered to pay U.S. troops' salaries if funding ran out during the government shutdown.

Reporter: "You have the money to pay the troops...?"

Trump: "I do... I actually have a man who is a very wealthy person... A donor, a great gentleman, and he said, 'If there's any money necessary, shortfall, for the paying of the troops, then I will pay it,' meaning he will pay it."

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

On Columbus Day, we commemorate Christopher Columbus in 1492 discovering the second Monday in October

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

Do you think it’ll be funny if I sent a Memoji as a response to a recruiter texting me?