♡Chعné NaRothan♥

A mystery....♥

[♡Chعné NaRothan♥ @Chene_N]

@Leticia_Morgan4 @Lotusfm they still don't play nice stuff. We end up listening to bhajans 😴

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[job interview]

Me: I have a good heart.

Interviewer: So you're compassionate?

Me: I'm a terrible person with great circulation.

[Will Rodgers @xWILLRODGERSx]

Karen: Ugh...You never listen!

Me: I never listen? I NEVER LISTEN? Then how do I know EVERY lyric to Rappers Delight? Explain That KAREN!

[♡Chعné NaRothan♥ @Chene_N]

@Lotusfm hi, please can you play better music from 8:30 am to 9:00am. Thanks.

[♡Chعné NaRothan♥ @Chene_N]

#optometrists #throwback #research #eyeball #2015 #juicyyy #heyyyyyyyyy https://t.co/u81AOTQlut

[IG: NewPiscesAreUs @PiscesAreUs]

#Pisces are attracted to good smelling cologne and perfum

[Will Rodgers @xWILLRODGERSx]

On this day 5 years ago...She was like "I Do" & I was all "I Do" Then a dude was like "Kiss Her" & I said "Hell ya!"

[♡Chعné NaRothan♥ @Chene_N]

“@WilliamRodgers: Kylie Jenner is 17... And drives a Bentley...

Ugh... I wish my older sister was a whore” @Teshiranarothan

[Will Rodgers @xWILLRODGERSx]

Me: My Life sucks.

Psychiatrist: How about you try and focus on the Positives.

Me: Okay... I'm Positive my life sucks.

[Will Rodgers @xWILLRODGERSx]

The baby spilled my Bloody Mary all over the carpet and now I have to get it replaced...

Anyone know where I can find a decent baby?

[Will Rodgers @xWILLRODGERSx]

My daughter WON'T stop taking topless selfies...

I'd say I'm failing as a parent...

But...I blame the Kardashians

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: Where's your sister?

5-year-old: In the toilet.

Me: You mean ON the toilet.

5-year-old:

Me: *takes off sprinting*

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

5-year-old: Can you bake me a cake?

Me: Your birthday isn't for 9 months

5: That's not much time to practice

Me:

5:

Me: *preheats oven*

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[packing lunch]

Me: Your lunch box has just enough space for a sandwich, an apple, an orange, and some carrots

5-year-old: Or 16 Twinkies.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

5-year-old: I'm supposed to find out more about my hero for school.

Me: Aw, you came to me.

5: Yeah. Can you tell me more about Batman?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

It's been a bad day, so I'm going on a long run.

And by "long," I mean "short."

And by "run," I mean "nap."

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[hardware store]

5-year-old: *rides in the car cart*

Random woman: *pushes her cart in front of us*

5-year-old: Learn to drive, lady!

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[cookout]

Wife: Don't embarrass me.

Me: I know how to make small talk.

Guest: Nice weather, huh?

Me: Burmese pythons have two penises.

[♡Chعné NaRothan♥ @Chene_N]

@MuhammedJoosab @MerashniJanelle @Kapeeler @ZahiraRawat yes and still took my place. Lol

[♡Chعné NaRothan♥ @Chene_N]

Thanks to Trevor Noah's "too soon" joke. Heartless people can now use it to check when some one might feel bad.We live in oblivion.