Jake

Firefighter, Marine, Really Really Really Ridiculously Good Looking

[Old Salty Marine @BamaSaltyMarine]

A guy goes to Las Vegas and wins a small jackpot on the slots. He goes out to find a hooker. He spots one dressed to the nines and asks her how much.

The Hooker says, "a hand job starts at $500.

He says "that sounds like a lot."

The hooker responds, "you see that restaurant across the street? Well, I own that restaurant because I give a hand job that's worth every bit of $500."

So they go to his room, and he realizes that it was indeed worth $500.

The next night he has a wonderful night at blackjack, and goes to find another hooker.

Much to his surprise, he runs into the same one, again dressed to kill and with a different hair style.

He asks, "how much for a BJ?" He is astounded when the hooker says, "$1500."

The hooker says, "listen, you see that casino across the street? Well, I own that casino because I give a blow job worth every penny of $1500."

So they go to his room again, and sure enough, the BJ is actually that good.

As he is paying, he asks, 'just out of curiosity, how much would it be to get some pussy?"

The hooker points out the window and says, you see that city out there?"

The guy says, "wait a minute, are you telling me that you own the city of Las Vegas?"

The hooker sighs and says, "no. But I probably would if I had a pussy."

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@incorrect_nz @RandoRobby42 @Real_King_Elvis That’s blatantly ignorant. Driving a truck through a crowd of people is a FAR more efficient way to commit mass murder than by using a firearm.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@RepHankJohnson @ZaidJilani She could go take a little getaway vacation in Guam, but if she brings too many people along it could capsize.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@YourFriendKyle_ Fair

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@TheStarGaz3rr @DC4L7920 Not only for running the ball, but for keeping Dak alive in pass protection behind some less than great offensive lines.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@JustLookingMon @EvangelicalDW Correct. If you truly believe your life is in danger, why throw away the only thing keeping you alive?

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@Prodigy3211 @levijeans799804 @EvangelicalDW It’s common sense bro. EVERY time the family and attorneys view videos like this, if it is helpful to them at all, they have a press conference out front of the police station and demand the video be released to the public. There’s a reason that hasn’t happened this time.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@BossCowboySport @VoiceOfTheStar He’s one of the most classy, knowledgeable, professional dudes on this app, and he definitely knows ball. I trust his Cowboys takes over everyone else.

His food takes are 54.7% atrocious, but everything in life comes at a cost.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@Metaesthetics1 @BrandonKalos @CNviolations

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@Metaesthetics1 @BrandonKalos @CNviolations

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@VoiceOfTheStar It ain’t fair to keep asking him to be Superman just to keep games close. We need to give him a short field once a game, and keep pressure out of his face when teams are only sending 4. Just those two things would make this team so much better.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@VoiceOfTheStar It’s getting close to the holidays. Go ahead, I dare you.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@Cglick6_ @LTMF24 Tyler Warren was always the best value in the draft. We had every indication he was going to be an every down guy, with plenty of talent.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@BrandonKalos @CNviolations Depending on the type of the pool, a completely full pool can “float” the pool liner. Water can start getting between the vinyl and the plastic.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@Leptonmancer @BreannaMorello Walker said himself that they heard the knocking, got up and got dressed, got his gun, then went to the hallway/living room. That aligns way more with 45 seconds than 10.

So now you’ve moved from “they didn’t knock” to “they probably only knocked for 10 seconds.”

Incredible

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@Leptonmancer @BreannaMorello Something else the media buried….

Before Ben Crump and company got ahold of Walker, he told the police Taylor shot at them, which would definitely explain why she was shot up and he didn’t have a scratch.

Listen from 1:25 to 1:45.

https://t.co/eNGKtGM4jC

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@Leptonmancer @BreannaMorello The wild part is if the cops wouldn’t have knocked, she’d likely still be alive.

[Jake @Chestys_Ghost]

@Ihartitz I traded him away last week. Really thought that would do the trick. Sorry guys.