Kábíyèsí Alatika

CX | Insurance | Risk Mgt | Runaway Zoologist |Sunshine Yellow | Sanguine Choleric | Libra | ChelseaFC | Counterfeit Nerd | Beer enthusiast | Babyboy | GirlDad

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

Mo ti sha coffee s'ára, opolo ti shi

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

Spent the most part of the weekend doing something I absolutely love (playing Pool) because I was bored at home all the while making money for my business. I finally get the people who say they enjoy their job because it doesn't feel like a job. I totally enjoyed every bit of it.

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

@kikiokeke Another one is Good "radiance" 😂

[The Fourth Musketeer @IV_Musketeer]

.@Apple Planned Obsolescence

The “Truth” about why the headphone jack was removed.

I wonder how much damage has been done to the human brain with bluetooth tech?

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

@thatSylvia_ Missionary schools generally

[Yehgha @yaygha]

About 4 days ago, I watched a YT video that talked about how we came about the term 'colour temperature' and by extension, why warmer-coloured lights (2800 to 3000K) is more relaxing and comfortable, while cooler light (white-ish light) is more stimulating, and suited to work, play and activity, broadly speaking.

Found it particular interesting as I've always prefered incandescent lighting indoors, especially at night because its more conducive to rest, signals sleep time and creates a more intimate ambience for when I have female guests

That video gave scientific backing to my night time preference for warm light (the science always meets me in front, eh?)

Now, maybe because of how excited I was about that discovery, I felt a strong urge to share it with my girl who had just walked into the living room as the video was ending - but caught myself mid-thought, self-reminded she would not share my enthusiasm because I know from experience, such things do not interest her.

So rather than expend my exuberence on an audience that would not share my fascination, I relocated to my desk and rerouted that energy into a deeply rewarding epistemic exercise on the subject.

Moral of the story:

While we all have impulses to share stories, interests or random bits of knowledge with those we love, and expect them to share our interests, it is socially unintelligent to forget that they are separate individuals with minds of their own. They have different interests, different curiosities, different levels of intelligence, different mental landscapes and basically, different things that capture their attention.

To expect that whatever interests us must interest them, or that whatever excites us must excite them, is a textbook case of self-absorption and a consequent inability to map their psychology.

It evinces an inability to fully appreciate separateness and the 'other-ness' of others.

Affection, love, marriage and whatever, does not undo individuality.

So the reason he 'doesn't receive the information in the first place' may very well be that the subject matter does not interest him. But because he is your husband, rather than communicate that lack of interest, he pretends to listen so as not to hurt your feelings.

Which then begs the question: how long will he continue to pretend? And at what point does it become unfair to expect that he shows interest in whatever story you have to share at whatever time - irrespective of his state of mind or individuality?

Okay... I guess that's two questions but you get the point

A better response, then (one which I use and have found to be remarkably effective) would be to (nonverbally) communicate his disinterest in such, as I like to call them, low level gists so that you gradually learn to stop bringing them to him

Or at least, consider whether the subject matter is one that is likely to interest him before sharing. Rather than sharing simply because it interests you.

So the problem is not inattention on his part. The problem is an inability on yours to recognise him as an independent center of exprerience, rather than an extension of yourself.

The issue, in simple terms, is your solipsism

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

My 6yr old has learnt to play alone - since her older sisters are away in boarding secondary school and I feel a different kind of guilt watching her learn to be by herself. Parents, have you ever felt this way when left with your “last born”?

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

THE ABSOLUTE BEST OF THEM ALL

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

No World Cup song beats Wavin' Flag

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

Wonderful

[Instablog9ja @instablog9ja]

Ab%rting A Baby Because They Have Down Syndrome Is Deeply Wrong— Life Coach Solomon Buchi Reacts To YouTuber Jesse Ridgway’s decision With His Wife

🎥:@solomonbbuchi

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

Re-reading this gem

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

Let's know when we are ready to march into those forest reserves carrying our own weapons of warfare to rescue the abducted people. All these key-padding and govt call out is clearly not very effective.

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

@phoenixx_chi I think he needs to be caged

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

Collateral damage of human lives? Children? We really do not value life in these parts.

Anyway, a stealth extraction operation with as minimum as possible hostage hurt or death is how this should be treated.

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

Hmmm

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

@MASKURAID Traffic isnt even as bad as it used to be but N250m in that zone?!

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

How is a plot of Land in Gemade Estate Ipaja N250m?? What exactly is going on?!

[H I I K Y A A T O R @HiikyaaTor]

How APC operates backend of INEC portal. Politicians of APC stock now have access. This is mind blowing. How Independent can INEC be?

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

Would the PDP have selected this guy over Peter Obi if they still had PO in their ranks?

[Instablog9ja @instablog9ja]

PDP officially announces Goodluck Jonathan as it’s 2027 presidential candidate

[Kábíyèsí Alatika @Chief_Babyboy]

@tobicomm @SeunEsq They usually unravel after a while