Chris H

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don’t get it. Moving on.

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

Did you know that if you put your ear up to a stranger's leg you can hear them say: "What the Hell are you doing?"

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

@LarryFitzgerald indeed

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

Just think in about 100yrs ghosts will spell out stupid things like "swag" or "bae" on ouija boards

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

@DaveRamsey duty weapon is a Glock17. And a Pof AR15

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

@debthrives Goliath

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

"Getting a neck tattoo is people’s way of saying ‘Yeah, minimum wage is fine with me'

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

@RealRonHoward Is an indicator when entire insurance provider back out of the exchanges that something is wrong with the plan structure

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

Good news ! i have been upgraded to Santas naughty list Platinum member

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

On this day, two thousand and sixteen years ago, Mary's cervix was dilated.

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

So I'll be posting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny. It was me

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

Working on my stomach this weekend I'm gonna do as many crunches as I can everyday. But in reality it will just be Nestle or Captain

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

you kidding me? Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a working battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real.

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

@mcuban I just can't trust Hillary though

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

Opening up a can of whoop-ass seems antiquated. Whoop-ass should come in a resealable container at this point.

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

@eeparrish woo hoo!!

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

@Deauxma damn!

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

Don't you love how fresh and clean your bathroom smells after you kill a spider with an entire can of Lysol ?

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

I often use "unnecessary" quotation marks

[Chris H @Chillyinaz]

Whew, I was worried they hacked the Dolly Madison site and everyone would find out about my chocolate Zingers addiction.