Chip

shit happens

[NARCISSIST @YUNGJIZZY19]

Ye was really crazy for this 😂😂

[Chip @ChipTheStoner]

@KimuraJ_ Ah kmmk 😂😂😂

[Webiro Wakazi Wassira #TheLeader @Wakazi]

MAMA YENU MZIMA KWELI HUYO?!

Unakuja kutuambia unaunda Tume kuchunguza, alafu mnakuja kwetu tena kukabidhiana matokeo, huku mkijipigia makofi, alafu Unatukoromea “HII NI RIPOTI YANGU”… ?!

Sasa kama ni ripoti yako, sisi mnatuhusisha nayo ya nini? Kwanini mfanye broadcast kwenye public media? Si mngepeana kimya kimya? Kwanini Tume inakuja kujieleza kwenye press conference? Kwanini mnalazimisha tukubaliane nayo?

I tell you what, YOU ARE RIGHT… RIPOTI NI YAKO!! Sio Ripoti ya WANANCHI, Sio Ripoti ya UKWELI, Sio Ripoti ya UWAZI, Sio Ripoti ya UHALISIA, Sio Ripoti HURU na Sio Ripoti ya HAKI.

Kulikuwa hamna haja ya kutukumbusha kuwa Ripoti ni yako, maana tulifahamu toka mwanzo na hakuna mtu alikuwa na shida na Ripoti Uchwara!! Ila Ukitumia Fedha za wananchi (walipa kodi) lazima rekodi ziwe public ili tuhoji matumizi ya rasilimali zetu.

NDIO, Ripoti ni yako sababu; Umeiunda Tume wewe, kuweka wajumbe wewe (hadi ambao wana “conflict of interest”), kuipa hadidu za rejea zako (sio za Wananchi wala za kujua Ukweli na Uhalisia), kwa malengo ya kujisafisha na kujiengua kwenye Tuhuma (ingawa iko wazi ni muhusika mkuu), na pia kwa lengo la kutaka kuwaangushia jumba bovu wasio na hatia.

THERE IS NO REPORT THAT CAN CLEANSE & SANITIZE THE ATROCITIES YOU HAVE COMMITTED, CAUSE THERE IS NO SANE, RATIONAL & LOGICAL HUMAN BEING THAT CAN BUY THE BULLSHIT YOU ARE TRYING TO SELL.

Kaa na Ripoti Yako, Sisi tunataka A FREE, TRANSPARENT, UNBIASED INTERNATIONAL COMMISSION OF INQUIRY… Until then, MTAJUTA KUTUSOMESHA.

The Leader

[Joseph Mbilinyi @TheRealJongwe]

Hii nchi tumeipambania sana kubabake!
Hapo wadwanzi walichana suti yangu mpya kabisa ya Calvin Klein, MATAKO YAO!😎
#FREELISSU #KATAARIPOTI

[Tito Magoti @TitoMagoti]

SAD STORY — Hii picha ni mtu, ni mshikaji, ni rafiki, ni kaka, ni shujaa; ni mwana ambaye ndoto zake zilizimwa kwa risasi.

Ni Daniel aka Lissu wa Kitaa. Alipigwa risasi akafa akiwa Ubungo.

Hii tunaijua sote – au, kama hujui, fahamu huyu ni Daniel aka Lissu wa Kitaa.

🧵🧵

[John Heche @HecheJohn]

Ukitaka kujua aina ya watu wanaojiita watawala na level ya fikra zao na uwezo wao, Msikilize huyu bwana Ulega!!!!

Yaani una Nchi yenye kilometa za mraba 945,000.

Nchi pekee yenye Tanzanite duniani, Nchi pekee yenye mbuga kubwa kuliko zote Duniani, Serengeti, Ngorongoro nk.

Nchi ya tatu kwa wingi wa dhahabu duniani, Nchi yenye mlima Kilimanjaro, makaa ya mawe, almasi, Victoria gesi na kila kitu.

Miaka 65 ya Uhuru una mtandao wa barabara zenye urefu wa kilometa 182,000 lakini kwa miaka 65 hiyo mmejenga barabara 16,000 tu! Yaani ni sawa na 9%.

Tena barabara zenyewe hizi zimejaa mashimo kama ubao wa kuchezea bao!!! Hakuna barabara hata moja ambayo ni nzima … Anzia Tunduma Dar, Mwanza Dar , Kigoma Dar, Babati to Singida, Tabora Manyoni Yaani ni takataka… Barabara zenyewe finyu zisizowezesha hata kupishana wala kwenda km 120 kwa saa..

Barabara haina ubora inajengwa leo kabla hata mkandarasi kuondoka site imeishajaa mashimo..

Kama Imewachukua miaka 65 kujenga barabara za lami mbovu asimilia 9 ya Barabara zilizopo… maana yake wanahitaji miaka 130 kufikisha asimilia 18 ya Barabara zilizopo… achilia Mbali maeneo ambayo hayajaingizwa kwenye kanzi data ya Barabara zilizopo na zitakazofunguliwa ….

Alafu bila aibu anajitokeza kusema uongo kwamba tuna mtandao mrefu wa barabara za lami kuliko Kenya!!! Hivi hawa watu hawaoni aibu? Kenya ina mtandao wa barabara za lami kilometa 25,411 sisi 16,700 kama alivyodai…

Lakini factor ya pili ukubwa wa Nchi ya Kenya ni km za mraba 582,650 sisi 945,000.

Kenya hawana dhahabu kama sisi, hawana tanzanite, hawana makaa ya mawe na chuma, hawana Serengeti is ala Ngorongoro kama sisi..

Yaani kwa hiki anachokisema Ulega, tukibaki chini ya huu Utawala dhalimu wa ccm tunahitaji miaka 600 ili kumaliza mtandao wote.

Hapo kuna barabara kibao za mitaa na maeneo ambayo hayajapimwa mpaka sasa ambazo hazijajumlishwa hapo!

Shame on you.

[John Heche @HecheJohn]

Hizi ni kodi na ushuru wa serikali kwa gari ndogo tu Crowne.

Fikiria kijana ambae ameanza maisha hapa Dar, kutokana na adha ya usafiri anajibana ananunua kagari ka usd 6,000 ambazo ni sawa na 14 m.

Hiyo gari ikifika inatozwa ushuru mwingine wa 14 m, yaani fikiria ushuru unalingana na ununuzi wa gari!!!

Yaani gari Machuma yote, engineering iliyopo pale kwenye gari unanunua bei sawa na ushuru wa mtu ambae amekaa ofisini tu na anakuchaji hela yote hiyo!!!!

Wakati mwingine kodi zinakua bei juu kuliko manunuzi!!!!

Huyu kijana awe mkulima au mfanyakazi, anafanya kazi ngumu sana kupata hiyo fedha, then inachukuliwa hivi…

Alafu baada ya mda CAG anasoma ripoti kwamba uwanja ulitakiwa kujengwa kwa bilioni 187 baadae ukajengwa kwa bilioni 337..

Mara umekaa unaambiwa kuna eti Waziri anatumia gari binafsi ya bilioni 2, unajiuliza mtumishi wa umma ametoa wapi bilioni 2 kununua gari na mshahara wake unafahamika, au anamiliki nyumba tano za thamani ya bilioni tatu, nne au tano… aniliki mashamba ya mabilioni, amempa mama mkwe wake nyumba ya bilioni tano na gari la kutembelea la milioni 500.

Pesa zote hizi za mlipa kodi anaeumizwa kiasi hiki na mzigo wa kodi…

Hapa nimesema magari tu, Ukienda kwenye kila kitu kinachoingizwa na kutoka Nchini ni mzigo wa kodi na maumivu kwa Mwananchi..

Na mwisho wa siku badala hizi fedha zitumike kwaajili ya maendeleo yetu zinaishia kwenye mifuko ya vibaka.

Hakuna barabara, hakuna maji, hakuna umeme.. Maisha magumu , mishahara duni hasa kwa walimu na manesi.

Hatuwezi kukubali kuwa watumishi wa vibaka wanaopora mali za umma.

[Webiro Wakazi Wassira #TheLeader @Wakazi]

MADELU SYSTEM MALFUCTION

Hivi huyu mlughalugha ni hana akili au anajitoa akili kwa makusudi ?! 🤔

Yaani

1Wao ndio Waibe Kura
2Wao ndio Waue Wananchi wasio na hatia kwa Risasi za Moto
3Wao ndio Wavunje Katiba ya Nchi
4Wao ndio wajiweke Madarakani kinyume na Katiba
5Wao ndio waibe Mali za Umma
6Wao ndio Wateke na Kupoteza Watu
7Wao ndio warithishe Watoto wao Madaraka na Fursa za Kimaendeleo
8Wao ndio wageuze Usalama Wa Taifa, Polisi na Jeshi kuwa their Mercenaries & Guns for Hire
9Wao ndio wafanye Ubadhilifu wa Kodi zetu na Fedha za Miradi
10Wao ndio wawape Viongozi wa Siasa Kesi za Uhaini, na kuwaweka Rumande Wapinzani na Wanaharakati

YOTE HAYO NA MENGINE MENGI, Still he has The Audicity to come and say, Kuna Kundi lingine ambalo linahatarisha na kuvunja Amani ya Nchi? Kweli?! PREACE BREAKERS pekee wa Nchi yetu ni CCM’s Murderous Kabal, that has attained supremacy & entitlement and now it has stopped serving the people but themselves; na ndio maana wapo tayari kuua Wananchi kwa Maelfu ili tu Wabaki Madarakani.

Hivi kweli Mtu mwenye Akili Timamu, mwenye aibu, haya na soni, anaweza kuwaambia Wananchi eti kuna watu wanataka kutuvunjia amani wakati Wananchi mpaka leo miili ya ndugu zao haijapatikana? Wananchi ambao mliwazimia Internet, mmeshindwa kuwapa Ajira na bado mka-restrict social media zao (na ndio wakijiajiri huko), ambao wameshuhudia watu wanatekwa Mchana kweupe na kupotea Mazima, Deusdetus Soka, Mdude Chadema, Humprey Polepole?

Okay tufanye mpo sawa! So nani anavunja Amani… Mange Kimambi? Amekulia Dar, akaishi Dubai na sasa yupo Beverly Hills, California? Okay nani, Maria Sarungi? Mtoto wa Profesa Philemon Sarungi? Au Wakazi, as is Webiro Wakazi Wassira? John Heche? Tundu Lissu? Mliyetaka kumuua kwa risasi Dodoma na sasa yupo jela? Au Roma Mkatoliki mliyemteka na kumuharibia career yake? au CAG wa zamani na Wasasa ambao wanaainisha madudu yenu?

Nyie ni SERIKALI HARAMU, na wewe Mwigulu ni mtu wa hovyo kabisa kuwahi kutokea, na historia itakusahau haraka zaidi ya kuliko kitu chochote!!

NYIE NDIO MNATUVUNJIA AMANI, NA MTALIPA!

The Leader

[𝙶𝙰𝙱𝚈 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚂 𝚃𝙴𝙲𝙷 7.o @gabyconscious]

Safi

[HONITEL👑 @HonitelHQ]

1. Don’t drive when you are drunk for any reason whatsoever.

2. When greeting someone much older than you, let them be the first to extend their hand for a handshake.

3. Clean as you cook.

4. Never wear shoes into someone’s home, no matter how clean you think they are.

5. Never date your friend’s ex. There is absolutely no reason to do that.

6. When talking to an elder who is sitting, do not stand. If both of you are standing, never keep your hands in your pockets.

7. If they don’t tell you, don’t ask. If you are aware of something and they don’t bring it up, act like you don’t know.

8. If someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right.

9. Do not smoke in front of children.

10. Do not visit anyone empty-handed. Go with a gift; it could be a bottle of wine or even fruits.

11. If you are not invited, don’t go or ask to be invited. If you are invited very late, decline.

12. Never be the one to open a bottle you didn’t pay for.

13. Never ask a friend about a partner, ex, parent, or another friend they don’t talk about.

14. If someone is paying for your meal, order as if you are on a strict budget.

15. Look away when you notice something embarrassing happen to someone.

[Webiro Wakazi Wassira #TheLeader @Wakazi]

LACK OF EXPOSURE INAWA EXPOSE WATAWALA HARAMU

Yaani Rais KILAZA, Aliyeandika Speech KILAZA, Mshauri wake (wa kumwambia atumie issue ya Mafuta as topic) ni KILAZA, Aliyepenyeza “Kimemo” (sijui ni Usalama Wa Taifa au Msaidizi au GIRISHONI) nae KILAZA!! 😫☹️

Unafanyaje DIRECT COMPARISON ya bei za Mafuta, na Nchi ambazo zina PURCHASING POWER PARITY ya matrillioni, na pia kuna CURRENCY DISPARITY ya 1:2600 (U$D), 1:3000 (Euro) and even 1:20 (KTsh) ?! Marekani state maskini kuliko zote mshahara kima cha chini ni $8 kwa Saa ($64 kwa siku) na jimbo hilo mafuta ni $3 kwa Gallon (so kwa liter ni $0.75 au Tsh 1875). Mshahara Wa Maskini wa Siku wa 160,000, na Mafuta lita 1875. Wewe Daktari unamlipa laki 9 kwa mwezi (yaani 30,000 kwa siku) alafu unajisifia kumuuzia mafuta kwa Tsh 3800 🤷🏾‍♂️

Alafu unatoa takwimu za Uongo, na anayekusahihisha nae anatudanganya pia. Mmeharibu THAMANI YA HELA yetu, kiasi kwamba senti hazina thamani. Marekani ukiona 8.00 sio mia nane, bali ni dola 8; hizo sifuri ni za SENTI!!

Pia hamjui tofauti ya METRIC SYSTEM (Litre, Kilo, Meter, Centimeter) na IMPERIAL SYSTEM (Ounce, Gallon, Pound, Inches). MSIGWA anakuja kutwambia bei ya Mafuta kwa Tani.. Kitu cha UJAZO anapima UZITO.

Kazi ya Viongozi ni kuleta ahueni kwa Wananchi, ila nyie HARAMU tunajua mpo kwa maslahi yenu binafsi ndio maana unatetea kutopunguza kodi kwa hoja na takwimu za mtu ambae hajaenda shule, hana exposure, na anayepiga Siasa/Propaganda.

Tokeni hapa… HAMUWEZI KUTUDANGANYA, MTAJUTA KUTUSOMESHA!

The Leader

[D @_Unknown_D_]

one of the main arguments ye was making in his bi-polar rants against Jews was that they control everything including finance, media and black music artists.

Sorry but doesn’t him loosing endorsements, having his assets frozen, being banned from travelling and having concerts cancelled reinforce the perception that they do indeed control everything?

[Frankie J @DrStrangejm]

Sisi kama jamii tuchukulie hatua kali wote ambao hawasomeshi watoto..

Unaacha kusomesha mtoto??what if huko mbele ikatokea bahati mbaya akawa rais..?

[Chip @ChipTheStoner]

Ila Joyce Banda miyeyusho sana. Malawi kazi wanayo

[non @nonatug]

Kuna age mwanaume ukifika unawacha kukua excited na matiti, Mimi siwezi fika hiyo age.

[Softboy @softcreateee]

My contribution to society is I don’t speak when I’m not educated enough on a topic

[Kemmy @dspkemo]

Some days I feel like I’m finally getting my life together…
then one small thing happens and I lose the plot completely.

[JayT @JayT0147]

Ngl 4 hours is a long ass time chillin with somebody.

[#NIPENI_MAUA_YANGU💐 @Roma_Mkatoliki]

Tukikubali tu tukalegeza kamba tukaruhusu apige kono la nyani 👋🏿 tena….
TUMEISHAAAAAA!!!!

Hiki ndicho kitakachotokea 👉
Nisome kwa utulivu na umakini👉

Mwanadamu ana kawaida ya kuumia pale anapoona majority wanamkataa, wanampinga na hawamtaki, Ikogo hivo, that’s obvious.

Ndio maana unaona hata wewe mtu akikupinga kwenye comment unachukia na kumblock!!

Means unaumia, na ndio hayo maumivu ninayosema!

Maumivu hayo humfanya mwanadamu ajenge chuki dhidi ya wanaomkataa na kumpinga!!

So tukilegeza kamba 🧕 akafanikiwa kurudi tena second half……automatically ile chuki itakwenda kuzaa kitu kinaitwa REVENGE!!

ATATUNYOOOSHAAA SAAANAA!!

Sasa hapa kwenye kunyooshwa hapa, ndio huwa hapachagui kambi, aliekwemo na asiekwemo wote mnyoosho utatuhusu!!

Nyie mnaojazana mauwanjani kumshangilia, na sisi tulioko majumbani wote REVENGE itatuhusu tu!!

Coz atataka kuwakomoa waliokuwa wanampinga!! Hiyo ni nature ya wengi wanaoshika madaraka!!

Si mnakumbuka BANZA 💔 aliwaambia TUNDUMA

🗣️mkiniletea wapinzani hampati maji, msinichanganyie!! Siwezi peleka chakula kwa mtoto wa jirani, wakati mtoto wangu ana njaa!!

YOU SEE?👆THAT’S A REVENGE NA NI NATURE YA WATAWALA WENGI!!

Nature ya mwanadamu iko hivi, ni rahisi kuwakumbuka waliokuwa wanakupinga na kukukataa, kuliko kuwakumbuka waliokuwa wanakushangilia!!

Ndio maana hata wewe unaweza post kitu, ukapata comments zinazokusifia na kukuponda, lakini za kusifia ukaziacha, then za kukuponda ndio uta deal nazo na kuanza kuzi-reply
(HIYO NDIYO REVENGE HUMAN NATURE)

🧕 Akikalia tu kile kiti, ndio itamjia ile sauti

SI MLINIKATAA SASA NITAMIONYESHA!!

So 🧕 atakapo revenge kwa waliompinga, atafumua MA-TOZO Double Double, Tozo za miamala, tozo za luku, tozo za wese ⛽️

Unahisi ataikumbuka sura yako kwamba ulikuwa unamshangilia sana alipokuja SIMIYU kwahiyo wewe Tozo zisikuhusu?
Zimuhusu mpinzani tu? Thubutuuuuuu.

Nikiumia mimi, nawewe unaumia tu mulemule…..Yaani Nasoro na Cholo, YaleYale!!

Kwanza tunavyoishi unakuta tumeoana mke vegetable mume kaki!!

Familia unakuta dada alisema NRNE, Mama anasema Oktoba anatiki, Baba Afande! Beki tatu Octoba linda kura.

So sukari ikipanda bei ni MAMA,DADA,ANKO,BABU,MJUKUU, BABA, wootee inakula kwenu haichagui ulikuwa Kambi tawala wala kambi Pinzani wala Polisi!!

Tozo hazitawahusu viongozi wenzie tu, si mmeona juzi miamala ya JBL 🔈
(Zero cost)

Bima za afya, maji, umeme,barabara na huduma zingine akizikosa mpinzani na wewe technically utazikosa pia.

CHAKUFANYA TUSILEGEZE KAMBA!!

ASIPIGE KONO LA NYANI!!

#NRNE

[Arturo Kidari🇹🇷 @mkemi4mkUu]

“Basi wajukuu zangu kipindi hicho fisadi haendi jela ni anatajwa jina lake tu anaanza kuona aibu hadi anakufa”