As a woman, place love and respect side by side and I will choose RESPECT.
Over time, I have realised that people have different understanding of what love is. Many years ago, I told a story of a girl I stayed with for few nights and how the boyfriend beat her up badly.
Ladies, don't drop your standards for these men.
If he can't cook, send him to a catering school. If he doesn't want to go, dismiss him.
Don't marry o nne ga alu in the name of love. You'll regret it.
You deserve a well-trained man to keep in the house.
You are the prize.
Two days ago, two men gave me food. Home-made food.
One swallow and soup. The other gave me goat-meat peppersoup.
Now, I am wondering which one I will pay his groomprice.
One thing I want men to know is a simple secret. The way to a woman's heart is her stomach.
I didn't really like these guys before they gave me food. But after eating their food, I now want to commit to them.
Unwise men will say, "I will never cook for a woman". That is how you will remain single and later buy a cat or dog when old age sets in.
Dog daddy!
On social media,
Nigerian men to women: You don't want to marry? You will regret it in your sixties.
Meanwhile, the same men insist their mothers will not remarry after their fathers' deaths.
Suddenly, umu nkapi don't remember that their mothers need a man in their "old" age.
Living in a patriarchal society isn't easy for any woman, including mothers whose values are measured by the marriageability of their daughters (if you had trained your daughter well, she would be married by need now).
Yet, I believe that putting you first should prove their love
One important reason some parents mount so much pressure on their daughters to get married many times has nothing to do with their daughters. It is not about them loving you. Of course, they do.
It is about them.
They can't withstand societal pressure.
This is why their daughters would be in bad marriages, and the mothers prefer that they remain in such unions.
They want to save themselves from the pressure from society and the countless times they would've to explain, defend you or fight people who mock their families.
When I lived in Gbagada, I used to give the gateman money.
He would thank me.
After a while, towards the end of the month, he would say to me, "Salary go soon come, and you go have money. You no get problem. Madam (my elder sister), go give you money, man, go give you money."
A lot of Nigerian men believe women have "fish brains", and they can "wash women's heads" with some sweet talks, pet name calling, and lies here and there.
Stop giving Nigerian men your money! It doesn't change how they view you.
After that day, I didn't give him any money again. I was going to work in Ajah from Gbagada, and you think I had no problem. Lol.
Now, this is not only with the elderly gateman. It is also what your male friends and colleagues think when they come to you for money.
If you are single, they think they have more responsibilities than you.
If you are married, they think that your husband must be footing all your bills. So, you should have money to give them.
Sometimes, they refuse to pay back. Why? As a woman, you have no problem.
@CiraNzube Back and forth is not my thing. I have no "taste and definition" of satire and do not gatekeep it. But there is something called "admitting I could have worded my thoughts better". Yes, I agree; patriarchy has never been kind to any woman, not even widows. Have a good day.
@CiraNzube This is not to put you in a corner. Your first tweet was not satirical. While I understand you referred to the ill-treatment of widows, insinuating that women have the power to keep their men alive is misogynistic. In other words, men's deaths are the fault of their wives. Mba.