BolachinhaCongelada

[rova @rovabtw]

i accidentally messed up my life how do i start a new one

[Matheus @seguematheus]

Eu aos 20: "Quando eu morar sozinho, vou fazer festas na minha casa."

Eu aos 30: "Não convido ninguém para a minha casa, porque sujam o chão."

[oziọma @rsvptemple]

“two wrongs don’t make a right.”

baby I wasn’t trying to make a right.
i was trying to make two wrongs.

[Novelle art. @artistryhere]

.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

"Do you all mind if we cancel?"
Me;

[Florida woman @stephanicci]

Depressed people being prescribed medicine that makes them fat and unable to fuck as a final indignity

[K @iiamkrshn]

Congratulations on working 40 hours! You are now free to dissociate for 2 days

[Lissa♥️♥️ @lizzkelly7]

The fake urgency created in corporate life for absolutely no reason is one of the worst things humans have invented.

[🌸 Kaori Loves Boba 🧋 @boba_nymph]

"But you don't look Portuguese"
Oh sorry, let me just:

[heider @he_ider]

pet com nome de comida é muito mais legal que pet com nome de gente

[BolachinhaCongelada @Chocochaves]

Que ventania horrível

[𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖_𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @SundaeDivine]

Gen Z is amazing. I asked a (paid) intern to bring me 50 blank pieces of copier paper and when she brought them in they were warm. Turns out that, rather than count them, she set the copier to 50 and printed blank sheets. Genius.

[BolachinhaCongelada @Chocochaves]

"Now I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger,
But she ain’t messing with no broke niggas"

[BolachinhaCongelada @Chocochaves]

Outra coisa que "vai me matar" é andar pela internet a ver casas com melhor preço/qualidade do que a que comprei há meses atrás

[BolachinhaCongelada @Chocochaves]

When did it end? All the enjoyment
I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend
It's not what he's made for
What was I made for?

[BolachinhaCongelada @Chocochaves]

Carecas > Mullets

[BolachinhaCongelada @Chocochaves]

Nine eleven

[BolachinhaCongelada @Chocochaves]

Quando amigos me pedem para os ajudar a treinar para entrevistas de emprego ❤️

[irene🌻 @Strictlyirene]

Men open up on what the women often don’t get about male sexuality.
What do you say?

A 🪡 thread