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Wearing: Wet Wizard Robe. Inventory: 3 Golden Coins, A Pig

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Your sputum dampens the ground. As you turn your back on Oinkers, you discover that an armour-suited figure has entered behind you.

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RT @Hammerfan0: FINE! If Oinkers doesnt care about you then YOU wont care about Oikers. Spit in the ground in front of him.

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You hug Oinkers, and he attempts to assert dominance by struggling and butting into you until you fall over. Oinkers is a bit of a jerk.

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RT @Hammerfan0: Hug that pig!

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You light the room, revealing that the eyes belong to a pig that is huddled on the far side of the chamber. It’s Oinkers!

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RT @Kerry_Gordon: illuminate the chamber with your magicks

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Those are not actual words.

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RT @themunki: "lumite cumave numow!!"

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Hooked chains hang from the roof of the chamber, and shattered weapons litter the floor. A pair of green eyes glint in the darkness ahead.

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RT @AndrewIconKerr: Survey the room..

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After a lengthy pause, you look around the door.

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You shove at the oak door. The hinges squeal like… well… you’d love to have a clever simile but your life experience is limited to pigs.

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RT @AndrewIconKerr: Quietly try and open the door..

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You go deeper, quietly scratching yourself, and come to a solid oak door. It is emblazoned with the words “FEAR THE SWINELORD”.

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RT @ndorfin: Proceed quietly inside, while scratching at the developing rash.

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You enter the middle entrance. A few dozen yards in you see messages scrawled on the walls in blood: “PIG BAD” “PIG U R DED” “HATE U PIG”.

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RT @AndrewIconKerr: your swine herd instincts tell you to choose the middle path..

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You are now extravagantly wealthy by swineherd standards. You may - MAY - be able to afford another pig. Perhaps put a down-payment on two.

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RT @themunki: [pick up] (three gold pieces)

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You flip over the stones. Things skittle away from under them.