Chris

This is where @chriseppstein tweets about things that aren't tech or politics. Usually, sex, relationships, polyamory.

[@[email protected] on Mastodon! @DylanTheThomas]

So... It has begun.
I found this behind my son's mattress.

I need a beer fund so you can all send me some to get me through this day.

Yes that is mine. No it was never in my butt. Yes I did try. Yes it was clean. No I don't know what's been done to it since.

BRB CHAT TIME

[Kate Kenfield ☕️ @katekenfield]

I bought this bonsai tree because it looks like it’s masturbating.

It’s my plant patronus. 🌱

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

@confetticole If they've been cool around you probably just pretend it never happened I guess? Maybe they swiped just to see if you had?

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

@confetticole When I got gold it was also a giant list of NOPE. But I didn't know any of them.

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

this may come as a shock but men wear earrings for the same reason women do 🙄

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

#NewProfilePic

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

@x_Miss_Bee_x OMG. Congratulations!!! 🎉

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

Sent a sexy selfie. Got "you look tired" and... yes, I guess I do.

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

This amount of horny is making it hard to concentrate on anything

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

God I'm thirsty today.

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

Post breakup slut mode: engaged.

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

You tiny, tiny, tiny little man.

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

@ladyleet Now we know how many Tracy's it takes to change a lightbulb.

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

@codehitchhiker I tried. My tax forms from my brokerage accounts weren't available until middle of February.

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

@ladyleet I think she meant 20-somethings.

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

Only 18 and 19 year olds evidently. #creepydatingprofiles

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

😍baristas 😍

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

@tenderlove <_<

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

In tonight's episode of Unicorn Hunters: Poly Victims Unit

[Chris @ChrisAfterDark]

I'm too sexy for this shirt. https://t.co/bvSdSARMih