Chris Derricks!

I'm Chris Derricks! I love eats! I go out with my six man food review crew then I type words over at Repersent!

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

#Easter is great! I drive thru suburbs steal eggs n candy outta kids' yards before they can get them then move to the next house #tradition

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

@WTFfactx @FoodPornsx Thanks for retweeting this, Food Porn. I'm super hungry now!

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

Well it turns out that it's actually real hard to steal a manatee straight out of a zoo. Wish someone had told me beforehand.

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

I'm going to capture a wild exotic animal and NOT eat it. This is new for me. https://t.co/aUODXGnSrw via @wordpressdotcom

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

Do you like manatees? Do you like kidnapping? Well then you'll love my new travel column! https://t.co/NIMPfzgDr9 via @wordpressdotcom

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

I mean is the federal government cool with you taking a manatee home. I know the manatees are. Manatees are chill as fuck.

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

So if you go to Florida you can just take a manatee home with you, right? They're cool with that?

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

Yo I'm a travel writer now. That means I have to do more than just eat food and slay bitches. I gotta like go places too. #ineverasked4this

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

@olivegarden So that's 60k shrimp total? Nice!

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

Just had country sushi. It's raw steak. Delicious!!!

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

@FoodPornsx I would do a buncha porn related things to that food!!

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

Like, mixed nuts I mean. Like pecans and cashews and shit.

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

I love eating nuts!!!!

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

@DennysDiner R U Ok? Usually that's what people ask me after I go to Denny's. The answer is pretty much always "no".

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

@KevinWithin Yo, I was eatin' unshelled pistachios!! How you expect me to be quiet about that?!

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

I always just used cooked asparagus as smelly whips to terrorize the neighborhood cats. #SensationalSides

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

@olivegarden HAHAHA for a second I misread "hearty" as "healthy" and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

@FoodPornsx I'd love to mash that up into a ball of starch and cheese and throw it at the neighbor kids!
Or eat it. I would eat it too.

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

@ItsFoodPorn That looks so delicioius I want to punch it with my tongue!

[Chris Derricks! @ChrisDerricksYo]

C'mon @tacobell. It should really be Breakfast Defecator, don't you think?