Chris

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

@CL_fTrader 4397

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

I tried to start a hot air balloon company, but it just didn't take off.

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

I'm not disappointed that there's no snow on Christmas. I'm disappointed that there's no Christmas on snow.

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

I guess I could put it in the wrong corner.

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

I picked the wrong christmas tree and now I'm stuck with a big, dead, pine.

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

why do I have such a hard time getting out of bed? my alarm clock is always angry at me.

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

Wurst case scenario.

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

@elonmusk My goal is to Tweet so much they have to invent a 'Tweet too much' warning badge.

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

Why is it snowing? That's like global warming saying 'Hey! Just kidding!'

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

The World Cup is kind of like having Olympics for just one sport.

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

I work at a job where I'm punching a clock from nine to five. But really, I'm just punching myself

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

@ErikVoorhees taxation is theft

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

@McDonalds 🤏

[Chris @Chrisfalbe]

@TimeFrogs @tingeltangelmik LFG!

[Michael Spicer @MrMichaelSpicer]

The Unrehearsed Voiceover Artist - Olympic Synchronised Swimming.

[e @ElijahKnew]

You know it's been a WILD day when AOC, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump Jr. and Dave Portnoy all agree on something.

[Pascal Fouquet @PascalFouquet]

Verbot von #Verschluesselung, #Fingerabdrücke im Pass, Aufhebung der Bagatellgrenzen beim #Urheberrecht, #Uploadfilter auf Steroiden in #terreg, Entfristung von #Geheimdienstbefugnissen. Nur mal letzte Woche.
2020 hätte gar kein #Corona gebraucht, um ein Katastrophenjahr zu sein

[Morbid Facts @Unexplained]

A malfunctioning dental school robot