Christian Philips

What’s goin on guys it’s Christian…but my brothas from otha mothas call me philabuster. Just a youngin from NEPA ready to tweet.

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Most people don’t like to get asked for things. Me on the other hand love to get asked for stuff. Like if a girl wants me just for my money, here take it. (I need female validation)

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

“What’s your favorite holiday” I don’t know mom whatever one brings me happiness.

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Everybody else holding a newborn: Oh my god he’s so cute! Me: Mmmmm 12,000 calories 😈 #bulkszn

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Was sitting in class today and the only thing I could feel is the gases in my stomach pregaming the biggest fart of my life #itfeltgood

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Sorority girls are the literal worst like I don’t care that you have chapter at the sigma tampon alpha Lucia go read a book.

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

I was so close to moving my roommate outside the window on the 7th floor this morning after he started to sound like a semi rolling down the highway.

[Kylethekegmaster @Kythekegmaster]

Could you imagine if the USA joined another world war and our pro athletes joined the military. Think about it. You’re the enemy guarding some door and it smashes open and you’re looking at Lebron James and the Bosa brothers. Smell ya later bro

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

I saw a ghost when I was younger and I still think this particular Sunday is making me more afraid

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Firefighters? More like Christian fires #ididdit

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Most people love children i on the other hand despise children. Like no Timothy you can’t have my lollipop you small goblin

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Who looks at a Kia Soul and is like “yes this is my car”

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Who the fuck just eats apricots

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

My friend texted me and said “I’m gonna get so lit tonight” like okay Benjamin Franklin

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

@Kythekegmaster Ain’t no way he looked at an antelope and was like “yea need that”

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Do it.

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

I just rammed my big toe in the wall about 50 times just to feel something. #wednesdaythought

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

Mom “what are you doing” Me “just on my way home” *14 miller lites in my system* #legalizeit

[Christian Philips @Christi11495147]

I just wanted to share my experience today. I was walking out of a local grocery store in the 570 and for some reason 65 year old woman and up have the biggest rear ends. Like it’s just simply not fair like share some of that carrot cake with me granny 🙈 #iwantapiece