Bad Church Secertary

☕ I keep everything around here ruinning smoothly. Always write. If you hear it from me, it must be oll korrect.
her shey

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

Almost split the church over a simple typo. Who would have thought Vaccination Bible School would be so controversial?

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

People ask me if I wrote this. No, but I'm wondering about the man who is an almond.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

Checking Facebook to see if any of our members cheated on us with other churches over Easter.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

I know I can do all things through Christ, but do I really have to do everything around here?

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

We put the unction in dysfunctional

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

Clifford

If you think about it, a cliff and a ford are 2 geographical features that don't go well together.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

Met a guy named "Ridge"

Not as edgy as you would think.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

@JoanCiolino She is afraid of the Internet. Her son suggested it to her 20 years ago and she has done it ever since. We just accept that when "Wanda" signs up to bring Jello to the potluck that it is really Carol bringing it.

-W. Wiggins

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

So, we have this lady who always uses an alias when she signs up online for anthing. It's really confusing to me, but she's in her 80s. Is it insensitive to say that at least it won't be a problem for too long?
I'm not saying it in front of members, but I am thining it.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

@Churchpain I met a guy named John Johnson.
His son is named John John.
So, the kid is John John son of John Johnson.

But then I find out that the dad is really John Johnson III, so he should really be John John John John Johnson.
People would think he has a stutter when they first meet.

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

When someone tells you to "Hold your horses," they're just encouraging you to be stable.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

This is how I'd feel all the time.
Good thing He is not like me.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

Nose piercings are the answer to the question, "What if I could have a nose pimple more often, but shinier?"

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

I've had John Cage's 4'33" stuck in my head all day.

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

I wonder if Professor Quirrell ever warned his students that he had eyes in the back of his head.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

The pastor this month:

Thanks for the nice pastor appreciation card!

Another nice card!

Thanks. It's funny, I got another card just like this one.

That's odd, I got a card like this one too.

Oh, CVS only had two Pastor appreciation cards again this year.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

Their slogan in this fax should be

"If you saved more on toner, we wouldn't have wasted as much of your money to print this"

[Nick Miller @1NickMiller]

This cracks me up

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

In my defense, the pastor used speech to text, and "Fissures of men" seemed like a good enough sermon title.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

@scottpsalisbury Just got bored with X.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

I had to check how extensive my dieting app is

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

Speech to text changed "Mandarin orange" to "Mantrum rage" and now I have a new phrase for when one of the boys throws a fit.