Charlie Bucket

I live with my poor family. My mom is a clotheswasher, and my grandparents are freeloaders. I'm pathetic. :(

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

I cheered up!

April Fools! I’m still poor.

#cheerupcharlie

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

@KKComet Our custom window shades are made out of Grandpa's old socks.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

I really enjoy joining people at restaurants and sucking on their used napkins for a taste of what I'm missing.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

Gramps and I are waiting outside Romney HQ, hoping some disgruntled Republicans throw their food on the ground and storm out. #dinner

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

I'm back after falling into a hunger-induced coma for a year. All is well now that I ate a peanut I found in some dog poop on the street.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

Tweeting from the dead. I shouldn't have got in that glass elevator.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

I guess 14 followers is better than 1. Oh, wait, Gramps isn't even following me. #FML

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

I'm going to take @ladygaga's advice and not be a drag today. I'm not much of a queen, though. Can't be glam with my wardrobe...

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

is having grilled cheese for dinner, but Gramps says dairy products are reserved for Christmas. Pan-charred bread it is tonight :(

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

Gramps says chastity is the only valuable thing I've got. Like Sydney Prescott, I abide by the underwear rule. Too bad they're crotchless.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

@lindyjordan I post my tweet using the 30 minute internet limit at the public library.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

@lindyjordan Thanks for the concern, but I'd prefer a buffet. (@dmckague @natecelnik)

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

Grandpa shit the bed. Again.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

Sounds like everyone is going to have fun this weekend. Maybe they'll bring leftovers.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

I thought I heard a car driving down the street, but realized it was my stomach grumbling. Maybe I'll find a quarter on the ground tomorrow.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

I am so hungry, but I ate all of my pealess pea soup yesterday. I guess I will go to bed hungry.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

I got a new pair of shoes today. They have no soles. Or soul.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

Looks like another night of split pea soup...with no peas.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

I feel like I'll never be an adult.

[Charlie Bucket @Chuck_Bucket]

The worst part about sharing a bed with your grandparents is the lack of privacy. How's a guy supposed to get his rocks off?