Church of Astrology

A Micro Web Series: CHURCH OF ASTROLOGY is hosted by the Black Light Oracle who delivers a daily horoscope and weekend sermon to the masses.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

ASTROLOGICAL DEATH POOL PREDICTIONS 2018:Al Pacino, George Bush Sr, John McCain, Betty White, Queen Elisabeth, Gary Busey

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 4/23:Two gerbils set boundaries, when Moon enters Saturn (reverse). Graceful glances seek your pardon in the bedroom. Park yourself next to an animal. Treats.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

the @ChurchAstrology called it. Our Astro Death Pool is now most accurate scrying device out there (in the cosmos). #donrickles https://t.co/j9XrzCaOpJ

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

Astrological Death Pool Predictions 2017: Larry King, Woody Allen, Bill Clinton, Harrison Ford, Ozzy Osbourne, Don Rickles, Angela Lansbury

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 4/6:Recently put in my app at https://t.co/ztwzUle1Wb Is having SAMPE-PAGE in your url path part of the 33 tests? #clues #genius

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 4/5:I gotta be honest. I'm more worried about fake nudes. With so many real ones out there, how will I know? #ArtificialNakedness

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 4/4:You wanna know what's REALLY in Pandora's Box? Tickets start at $200. Get in line my friend. I'm going twice!

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 4/3:Brain vs heart. Only 1 winner. Who will it be? Let's say heart deprives oxygen to brain. Bet on your heart folks. Bet bet bet.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 4/2:Blatantly good looking. Yes you are. I wanna say you have the GIFT but looking at your chest I would say you have the GIFTS.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 4/1:In the immortal words of Al Ahquin de Rose, Make out like a bandit til you just can't stand it. His words. Not mine.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/31:Beware of blockers. Those who would block your rise to fame. Deny your seat at the dinner table. Also find them in the NFL.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/30:Fruit bats. Or maybe I meant fruit bars. Like the snack. Not the place where you go and try to pick up hippie chicks.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

Ahh, the gift of grammar my friends. Nothing sweeter. Hold on to your dreams. https://t.co/R03SIBooJj

[Tengri 137 @666ab731]

We are not Mossad nor a agency! They lied, we not! Our gift will change the game for all on earth. We are Tengri 137, we are everywhere!

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/29:Lovers run naked in the rain while it pours rose petals. Careful of stretching the fantasy too thin. Work starts in 1 hour.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/28:Big relationship plans in the works? Put them off until after taxes are due. Of next year. Yep. Give it even more time. Lots.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/27:Energy of the cosmos is available. You don't need to have a membership either to check some out. $20 non refundable deposit.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/26:Uranus in Pluto. Mars in Venus. Neptune in Horseshoe Crab Nebulae. These are some trying times. $8.00

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/25:Keep drinking that Shasta. It will keep you alive in the nuclear desert. Sun screen, lip balm also a good idea. cherry flav

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/24:Man do I love almonds. Salty, crunchy and born of a million year old volcano. Not unlike some of your mom's cooking. Beets.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/23:Time for love, to be loved and good loving. Milk it for what you can. This may never come again, or at least until Tuesday.

[Church of Astrology @ChurchAstrology]

HOROSCOPE 3/22:Jupiter in a knife fight with the Pluto. Pink slips are on the line. Pluto has an old rusty Rambler and not trying very hard.