@Barzal_97 POV: your biggest fan, Mason Chierchio, is playing at the WFC right now, and got his first big ice penalty repping your number and team on the scoreboard #13 #WissahickonWarriors#PeeWeehockey
6yo: guess what. I made you a pink card that says "I like my mom."
Me: ohhh, that's so nice! I LOVE you!
6yo: I don't know how to spell "love", so I have to just like you *said flatly as he walks away #zerofucksgiven#smartass
@realDonaldTrump Puerto Rico is home to 3.5m AMERICANS—90% of whom have no electricity, clean water or secure food! It’s the size of Connecticut, but brown!
Remember when we clarified that if you march with racists you're NOT a fine person. Well, same to the crowd at this racist's rally https://t.co/aI53nSuBTe
@KarenKilgariff My true self is equal parts Superchunk, Minutemen, Billy Joel. I want a red lip stained fella, light on his feet and tickling them ivories
Uhhh I guess there were lots of "innocent" people working at concentration camps and as many "bad" American soldiers fighting nazis in WW2 https://t.co/zae3rt4dzZ
"You had a lot of people in that group that were there to innocently protest," POTUS said. "The press has treated them absolutely unfairly." https://t.co/FFvSVu0Bp2