why when murderers on tv r caught in the act they always start yelling like “my arm ow” when being cuffed? like sir u were just about to KILL someone u think your getting treated with gentle remorse?!?!
current table at work is this guy who usually brings in 1 of 2 ladies w him, flying solo n td orders a strawberry shrimp salad w a white russian n shrimp creole app.
sir i dream of having your balls someday.
at @Backseat_Luv concert n a girl asked me for my vape, i said u want nic, delta 8, or weed? her n her 4 friends looked at me like i was god.
IVE. BEEN. SEEN.
me: *says names w lil explanation of my pinterest/boards*
eli: “well that was interesting n slightly aggressive”
me: “omg that’s how i’d like to explain myself”