bitch slap barbie

I don’t pee girl, I piss

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Never getting my hopes up over a man again

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Just flashed my brights at someone to tell them a cop was up ahead and it was the first time that someone acknowledged it and put their hand up in thanks and it just feels good to know you’re doing good work and that your efforts have been successful

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

The bitch was crazy yall

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Had some drunk woman look me dead in the eye last night as she said “you’re lost and you need to find your heart, and guess what, I’m your coach” and then told me that the guy next to me didn’t deserve me and I wasn’t even w that guy lmfao

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

@ktshuuu Lmao fr the crash is coming

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

So what if you’re 29 and not doing fine like at all

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Bro it is too early for some biiiiiitch to accuse me of taking her coffee at Dunkin she chose the wrong one this morning bubba

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

I wholeheartedly believe that “cunt” is a massively underused term

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Both of my classes got cancelled tonight and I just got my students loans so the obvious thing to do is to go out day-drinking, right?

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

@SWWTT98 Did that a few months ago and it was enriching

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Ok hear me out: Lizzy McGuire fr Creed

“Have you ever seen such a beautiful night” but say it as Creed

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

So like confession time I tell ppl I’m almost 30 but then when someone tells me I’m almost 30 I tell them to FUCK OFF

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Might have to hire someone to slap me every time I put $20 in the slots so that maybe one day I’ll stop putting $20 in the slots

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

I apparently can’t play in a vball tourney and pull doubles in the same week anymore cuz my knees are sore as foook

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Alright I’m actually down for a Scrubs reboot… as long as it’s not anything like season 9

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Yall my date rescheduled and I’m kinda happy cuz I made some bangin ass tortellini soup earlier and I’m trying rearrange my room too lmao

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Okay watching It Ends With Us and there’s a scene that has Lucinda Williams song Fruits of my Labor in it and that alone made me like it lol

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

Sometimes wish I didn’t have a heart murmur that made me terrified of doin coke cuz I bet a line would really help me get my fuckin project done rn

[bitch slap barbie @CitySlicka11]

My chances of getting into a red-light brawl with someone increases by like 600% when I’m on my period