Laz ‘R Us™️

Post-post-confessional. Glamour will save us all.

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

@buitengebieden oh that's lionel

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

@soulaaangel why are they "assuming the position" tho? i'm cryiiing
about to get patted down 😂

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

@KeepinUpWJiaEr @iamcardib 😂

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

@psychedelicdomo 😂

[Andrea More @amore_orless]

a father on my flight wouldn’t let me switch seats with him so I could sit next to his wife and baby

[BAY AREA STATE OF MIND @YayAreaNews]

An Earthquake just struck the Bay Area

Did you feel it?

[evanvinbradyjareddevrsdsfmuttmarcusmunchieslazo @FATFCKINGRETARD]

Bay Area twitter users coming to see if anyone else felt the earthquake #Earthquake #CaliforniaEarthquake

[PHILOSOPHY @PhilosophyOnX]

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Marcus Aurelius

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

never
ever
ever
EVER
have i wanted a time machine
this bad.

[kemi @kemimarie]

lowkey, this has been a fast, long ass year

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

now wait a fucking minute... so i've slipped into pirate-speak in conversation w/ a friend (it's ok, it's friday night, God's not looking) & something crossed
my mind —
was "Chips Ahoy" supposed to be a pirate themed cookie & they just abandoned the vision? is it unrelated?

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

i'm entirely serious, just as serious as i am about apparently legally commandeering an appropriate vessel to sail around the world w/ this guy eating all the chocolate chip cookies the New World has to offer 🦭🌚⏳📜

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

now wait a fucking minute... so i've slipped into pirate-speak in conversation w/ a friend (it's ok, it's friday night, God's not looking) & something crossed
my mind —
was "Chips Ahoy" supposed to be a pirate themed cookie & they just abandoned the vision? is it unrelated?

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

sight, or start yelling numbers in spanish. i would say "counting" but that would miss the rote, full-volume aspect of it. & i feel you to be dutifully warned about that. don't let him see a single letter either, or here comes the loudest recital of the alphabet you've ever heard

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

il y a un longtemps

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

@jessmachadoshow do you know how many empty water bottles she could have peed in in that time? how many multi-level apartment buildings she could have parked outside of for 30 seconds so by the time the intended recipient hobbles to the door she's disappeared to scout the streets for cats again?

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

@jessmachadoshow while i'm sure they could give 12 & a half shits about the ethics or even the optics (because feline-family-member abduction? broad daylight kittnapping? that's some bad press but they've 100% seen worse. but TIᗰE TᕼEᖴT?!! 😳do you know НOW LONG coaхιng A CAТ can тaĸe??

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

@jessmachadoshow worse.)*

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

@ClydesdaleVan @RealJamesWoods

[Laz ‘R Us™️ @ClaireMarvel]

i mean, what a difference a year can make. (juin '24 || juillet '25)