Clarence James

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

Kris Jenner is the greatest pimp of all time. Change my mind.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

A Greek immigrant living in Canada was inspired while eating Chinese food to put a Brazilian ingredient on an Italian dish, creating Australia’s second-favorite type of pizza... which is named after Hawaii.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

Saturday wisdom:

Arms on your chairs
are just chairs for your arms.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

I can’t seem to help myself lately from viewing the world around me in terms of chemistry.

I’m guessing this shift in perspective is due to having recently finished my first rewatch of Breaking Bad (which still... https://t.co/aa99mt1TqK

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

Just a casual reminder that Diet Slice was once a thing.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

I was just startled awake by the horrifying realization that no one ever answered Paula Cole.

Twenty-two years later and we still don’t know where all the cowboys’ve gone.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

Alright people, listen up!! The current epidemic of excessive masturbation plaguing our society has resulted in two very real problems we need to solve immediately: memory loss and..... something else.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

There’s a pandemonium of wild parrots living in the palm trees down the street so let’s just go ahead and add that to the never-ending list of reasons why I keep falling in love with my neighborhood.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

My mom just told me that I hated being swaddled as a baby because I insisted on being free to move as I pleased and if this doesn’t explain my entire life I don’t know what does.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

I’ve been awake since 3:26 a.m. wondering why Chipotle hasn’t sponsored a college football bowl game just so they can call it the Chipotle Burrito Bowl.

It’s now 4:39 a.m.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

Disney proposed various names for the Seven Dwarfs before ultimately settling on what we know them as today.

It is to my great dismay that I must inform you they passed on—though legitimately considered—the nearly... https://t.co/YtMrrVXfjW

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

For a while now, Facebook has been a cesspool of negativity.

Enough, I say. It's time to take it back.

Hate must be met with love. And nothing––nothing––is more universally loved than... https://t.co/imh8nSI3p4

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

When your boy, Dakota Ortiz, works his ass off to launch a program promoting diversity and inclusion in the LA tech industry involving venture... https://t.co/bAI5TR6pfU

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

That Kinko’s isn’t instead the name of a sex shop is a travesty.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

Most of you are likely unfamiliar with the name Dr. Brian May... but you should be. He’s a fascinating individual.

Dr. May is an astrophysicist who began his doctoral studies in the early 1970s measuring the... https://t.co/DRQq9zoVs2

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

LinkedIn just sent me an email suggesting I connect with Sean Astin and now I don’t know how to get any work done today

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

One of the homies penned this piece on how the tribalism and false dichotomies on which politics feeds leads to some really ugly and hypocritical behavior. A quick read for those willing to step out of their echo chambers for perspective: https://t.co/0eZvAqBQYJ

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

Airplanes have horns for honking at each other and I was today years old when I found this out.

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

The Mona Lisa is the most famous work of art in the world.

But why?

Perhaps it’s the enigmatic nature of the painting—from the subject’s ambiguous expression to her uncertain identity. Or is it due to the artist... https://t.co/3R9EZ925KQ

[Clarence James @ClarenceJamess]

In order of pleasure, the following is a list of items that feel best when inserted into a bodily orifice:

1. Food
2. Q-Tips

A very distant 3rd... literally anything else.

I finally figured it out, fellas. Women... https://t.co/JxfAEER84O