🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄

I follow smart, funny people. Big plus to anyone with horror in their profile. I am liberal and #BLM 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸

[🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄 @ClassADude]

Ah, Thanksgiving, sandwiched between Black Friday and Road-Rage Wednesday.

[Sweet Momissa @sweetmomissa]

Twitter is fun because you can make a joke and a bad poetry account will tell you you’re not funny.

[Matty @bestestname]

Based on recent inflation numbers, you're gonna need to find a five leaf clover.

[David @DBStoner]

My drafts and bookmarks are empty.
It's a lonely place to be now.

[Ganja Lilly @PureGanja1]

I'm gonna to move to a nudist colony so I don't have to do laundry anymore.

[Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy]

My favourite self-affirmation is “way to go, dumbass.”

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

Imagine waking up from a 13 year coma and the first thing you do is walk to McDonald’s with $5 thinking you’re about to go wild.

[Stabby Jo🔪 @okayestpoet]

I will always prefer my friends come to me if they disagree. But coming to me is not the same as coming *at* me.

[🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄 @ClassADude]

I can find my own fucking gifs.

[🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄 @ClassADude]

@RabidClowner @HorrorGorl Bot 👆

[miss molly🕷🕸 @mollyringwurm17]

Think about how sad your life is to troll someone here who is a veteran on Veterans Day for wanting to make this country better

[🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄 @ClassADude]

@RabidClowner @HorrorGorl Bot 👆

[🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄 @ClassADude]

@ErinBode I can't think of a better answer than that.

[🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄 @ClassADude]

@MadelaineLucyH Followed

[🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄 @ClassADude]

@RabidClowner @HorrorGorl Bot 👆

[🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄 @ClassADude]

@ThatEricAlper I was two months shy of my 4th birthday and I remember watching the Apollo 11 moon landing from my dad's lap.

[Ganja Lilly @PureGanja1]

I just told my cat to grow a pair of thumbs and feed me for once.
Thats how lazy I am today.

[ChiChi Greenblatt @ChiChiGreenblat]

Some people treat a difference of opinion like you parked in their driveway.

[Kelley Belle @Hells75Belle]

Dr: You’ve lost a lot of weight since your last visit. Was this purposeful?
Me: Depends on if you have good or bad news for me

[🦃 Holiday Archaeologist 🎄 @ClassADude]

@RabidClowner @HorrorGorl Bot 👆

[AbbyDabbyDoo @DearAuntAbby]

Men are clueless and women are crazy. Clueless men make women crazy. Crazy women make men more clueless. Venus/Mars solved.