M. Clay Sewell

[Uncle Ted @DrunkTedTurner]

Nick Saban to Georgia Southern State. I've got solid sources. It's a done deal.

[TIME @TIME]

Jay-Z reportedly hires professional cigar roller for summer tour, because of course he does | http://t.co/CLmWbUeJwN

[Onion Sports Network @OnionSports]

NHL Game Seats Now Marketed Primarily As Nice Places To Sit Down | More NHL News: http://t.co/UikhFvJmZS

[M. Clay Sewell @ClaySewell]

“@TheOnion: Double Amputee Proves He Is Capable Of Anything http://t.co/v6PXiKnm”@benjordan454

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Nation's Boyfriends Dreading 'Free Event In The Park' Season http://t.co/nm0j8vwP

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Remember, no need to eat a gun barrel over the winter blahs when it's sunny and 70 at Chili's, you guys.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Jack Daniels To Start Marketing Directly To Children | 'Let's Just See How This Goes,' Says CEO http://t.co/MFPotNvM

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Roman Coppola on new movie: "Bill Murray a dream to work with even though I know I will die one day" http://t.co/ckrJXWGN

[SI Vault @si_vault]

It's been over 10 years and I still can't believe Tom Brady agreed to this cheesy SI photo shoot:

[e olsen designs @efolsen84]

#musbergerpaysforit @claysewell

[SDSNation @SDSNation]

Let this sink deep down into your soul: Vanderbilt has a better record than Southern Cal. #SEC

[SI Vault @si_vault]

Don't tell anyone but it's Larry Bird's bday. If you're not a fan, this is probably not the best feed for you today:

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Tomorrow's Winning Powerball Numbers Are: 8, 17, 22, 29, 44 Powerball: 30

[SI Vault @si_vault]

This is what a group of Hooters girls looked like at Super Bowl XXV (1991):

[SI Vault @si_vault]

I will have 50 Bo Jackson pics to celebrate his 50th bday on Friday. Here's a preview (starring a young Chris Berman):

[Onion Sports Network @OnionSports]

Mike D'Antoni Starts 'Phil' Chant During Introductory Press Conference http://t.co/SwOmZkNI

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal http://t.co/I8t6v6lu

[SI Vault @si_vault]

Richmond Braves third baseman Chipper Jones relaxes in the locker room before a 1993 game:

[M. Clay Sewell @ClaySewell]

@colinkane I'll be there on thursday with @theTron7 !!!

[Allen Carter @theTron7]

@colinkane I would need around 10 if that's possible