Chance Claypoole

i ride a scooter so good luck intimidating me

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

Haven’t spent a lot of money on something pointless and not necessary for awhile. That needs to change

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

Just another day in the Milky Way

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

There’s something about a straight piped v8 that gets me harder than it is to get into Harvard

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

I just now came to a realization that I’m very unoriginal when I’m drunk

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

Been having dreams lately of my Jeep taking a hike and I’m not sure if it’s a sign to come or what

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

All the problems in the world currently can be linked to the selfie stick

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

The government is the one who created the face app to distract people from storming Area 51

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

I hope everyone celebrated there independence by day drinking

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

Someone needs to remake billy idols white wedding but with hank hill singing it

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

Successfully went golfing without bruising a rib

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

It’s a level 3 tropical thunderstorm and some dude is setting off fireworks in Worthington. I love it

[Amiri King @AmiriKing]

There's nothing worse on the planet than a terrorist.

If you are a terrorist and you are reading this, I want you to know that you are a faggot.

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

@alexxisss09 The more you know

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

Did you know your 2x more likely to black out drunk than you are sober

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

@joshshamberger It’s a quote from one of my idles

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

Who wrinkled my randy Travis poster, pissed in the seat and hid my keys?!?

[Joe Dirt @JOEDlRT]

Rule Number One: I'm number one.

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

@joshshamberger You weren’t thinking that’s the problem

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

Rub my back and shave my sack

[Chance Claypoole @ClaypooleChance]

Why don’t you make like a banana and peel out