Clayton Turner

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

@pattonoswalt Sequel script?

[The Oklahoman @TheOklahoman_]

A recent incident on a JetBlue flight has all the trappings of a “Ratatouille” sequel, only this time, Remy could help pilot a plane instead of a chef. https://t.co/vP21pzh0iD

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

Thinking and drinking @pintsworld in Tulsa, OK @NothingLeftBrew. Awesome event of science and community!

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

Early 90's Toby Keith welcomes you to heaven.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

Whenever I'm fortunate enough to travel, I'm always kinda keeping an eye out for @RickSteves. Would be so cool to just spot him out in the wild. You're not in Salzburg, Austria by any chance, are ya? #KeepTraveling

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

He kept making fart noises and laughing.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

@iamjohnoliver Yes, I realize you'll never see this.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

@iamjohnoliver This is one of the greatest graphics in television history. The magnified eye... perfect. Thank you for this.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

@ChaseMit Some kid can now tell his friends that he got a haircut during the halftime show of the Superbowl.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

Who wore it better? New #WashingtonCommanders stadium or Geordi LeForge?

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

In a poopy race, there's always people shouting "Don't poopy here!". - my 4yr old theologian.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

All this means to me is that @ConanOBrien & @TeamCoco travel shows might be coming to Netflix! 🤞

[CNN Breaking News @cnnbrk]

Netflix announces deal to buy Warner Bros. and HBO.
https://t.co/k8mONJPGUf

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

Just roll her up in a rug, Doug.
Go hide in a cave, Dave.
Start an OnlyFans, Hans.

*Ways 68-70 To Leave Your Lover

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

Just thought of "Lady Di Ameter" if anyone is looking for a good drag name.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

I can see how the one job led directly into the other.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

I'm only realizing now that I should've brought earplugs.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

Where did 30+ years go?! 🥲

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

"Sorry, but where can I find Men's Inactive?"

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

Facebook marketplace is the new @Sothebys. $100 seems like a steal.

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

All the people right now trying to find out if "Vine" is still a thing. #TikTok

[Clayton Turner @ClaytonT]

Ryan Day gives off serious "youth pastor with a troubled past" vibes. #OhioState #CFBPlayoff