Clement Ehall

[Clement Ehall @ClementEhall]

Glad to see they're keeping up with their promise for "kind and compassionate conservatism".
Of course they fail to mention they've removed practically all legal routes.

[Rishi Sunak @RishiSunak]

If you come to the UK illegally:

➡️ You can’t claim asylum

➡️ You can’t benefit from our modern slavery protections

➡️ You can’t make spurious human rights claims

➡️ You can’t stay

[John Bull @garius]

Look. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If Harry has a problem with his family then he needs to persuade the French to fund him, raise an army, invade and seize the crown.

What else was Brexit for, if not to restore traditional British approaches and values?

[Peter Spadafore @PeterSpadafore]

Which will last longer, McCarthy's bid for speaker or Liz Truss's premiership?

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

As Rishi Sunak unveils plans to make maths compulsory until age 18, AQA unveils new A-level question:

[Clement Ehall @ClementEhall]

I hope the money was worth it for him #oedipuscomplex

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

‘I want my father and brother back’ says Prince Harry, during quick break from slagging them off to anyone who’ll listen.

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

‘I want my father and brother back’ says Prince Harry, during quick break from slagging them off to anyone who’ll listen.

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Government sets ambitious new year's target of two prime ministers, 36 chancellors, 400 U-turns, 900 scandals and 1,200 strikes.

[Clement Ehall @ClementEhall]

Only my brother could lick the caviar of 10 blinis and then announce "I really need a shit"

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

As William and Kate unveil their official Christmas card, Harry and Meghan announce a one-off Netflix special to moan about not receiving one.

[Clement Ehall @ClementEhall]

@wolffaIice I've heard bad things about these windmills tbf

[Clement Ehall @ClementEhall]

A grand total of 16 onshore wind turbines have been approved planning permission in England since the moratorium on onshore wind was introduced by the Tory government. It's currently easier to construct a new nuclear power station, landfill, or a new coal mine 🤡🤡🤡

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Live scenes from the UK's monetary reserves:

[Clement Ehall @ClementEhall]

I wonder at what point Dyson will conclude they have finally perfected reinventing the hand dryer

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Government unveils latest plan to deter migrants by replacing the sea with shit.

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Grant Shapps says the first driverless cars could be on UK roads next year, after successful six-week trial of driverless government.

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Live scenes as government sends out first instalments of its energy bill support scheme:

[Phil @pnm1979]

Never saw heatwaves like this before the vaccine. Makes you wonder.

[Larry the Cat @Number10cat]

Wanted: New housemate for Westminster based feline. Recently decorated house includes excellent security, lightly used office space and large garden, suitable for hosting parties. Deep clean required.

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Priti Patel calls for police to use new powers to clear up protesters. Unclear how many MPs they can fit in the van.