Clever Matt

I worry my calves are getting too big.

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

@ZacEfron should wrestle as Charlie St. Cloud #charliestcloud #WWE

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Why and how does King Kong clip his nails? #Monsterverse #kingkong

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

I don’t remember 9/11 but I do remember Brett Favre

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Do you think conservatives sit around all day doing Mad Libs? #politics

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Gonna teach my kids school is spelled shcool. It’s way cooler and fun to say that way and no one will notice. #parentingtips

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

All roads lead to boats

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Thing about short kings is they’re easy to overthrow. #shortking #greatjoke

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Hot girl summer is just the modern summer of George. #hotgirlsummer #summerofgeorge #seinfeld

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Just realized Arbor Day is about trees, not really sure though.

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander mountain bike.

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Dude, I’m abouta go ham on this bread.

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

If we make cardboard illegal Jeff Bezos will combust.

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

I spilled some cold water of my foot and now I’m too nervous to clean it up #coldfeet

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

If there is no party, is one still on the list? -Sophisticles

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

What a crazy story from this hot shot new writer Chip Fox https://t.co/zo6Y4jSszr

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Thx to @theofficetv I’ve always known what a bailer is, and that I hardly know her.

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

#Packers going for the NY sweep!
Wisconsin Jets Fan NY Jet(s) vs GB Pack(ers) https://t.co/wbqBHpozXy via @YouTube

[Chaz @ChazzulDazzul]

It's go pack go, innit?

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Does #cornkid call it #cornhole or #bags?? Real question, not a disgusting joke you internet perverts.

[Clever Matt @ClevaMatt]

Watched the first two episodes of dahmer last night and thought it was the latest Charlie Berens video #nolie #stillwaitingforthejoke