Jax Off

Always skankin' around like a prostitution whore in the hood

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

I see hella moms brag on their kids about being “the happiest baby”
I think mine is broken cause he is always so fucking pissed off. Even when he’s happy he looks fucking pissed. Example below:

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

had a nurse over to do a physical at home and colton goes “why are you so fat” and i thought he said fast so i was like well she’s done this for a long time and he goes no she’s fat she’s got a big belly and big nipples 😅😮‍💨🥴

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

@SkeeDotReed 😱😱 poor guy!

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

@SkeeDotReed oh my god!! Check on smalls!! Give him hugs for me!! He must be devastated!!!! #ripKobe

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

@dustin_thewind2 hopped on the Facebook and found out we’ve been homies for 5 whole ass years. *tips hat to you*

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

So my know it all brother in law is retarded guys.

He thinks it’s safe to use an electric smoker indoors cause you’re not using charcoal. 🙄

Pray for him that he doesn’t end up killing his family on accident

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

So I’ve been using a 1946 copy of the joy of cooking and today I finally got an updated version! Shit’s about to get real in the kitchen!

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

@Cayyykes I just want to update you that we knocked that stuffing out of the park

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

@Cayyykes I know it’s a long shot buuuut we’re having an emergency and I think I need your help girl?!

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

I like my turkey fried but when that white guy said he liked it a little bit burnt I was like 🙁 and the other dudes wife’s Mac and cheese. Nope. She’s doing it wrong sir.

[First Take @FirstTake]

Settle this: What's the best Thanksgiving food?

A. Lasagna, B. Fried turkey, C. Mac & Cheese

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

I’ve never been owned harder than the time I texted my best friend, “having a crisis because I used to think I was in Gryffindor but I might be a Hufflepuff??” and he texted back “my wife just went into labor.”

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

GIRL! You let me know when and I am soo there for that!

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

@judge_b00ty @Cayyykes Soooo we should definitely make a plan to do some major cooking out there in vegas. I try to visit 2-3 time a a year if I can 😬

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

I’m planning on what to make for thanksgiving and I just keep thinking of @Cayyykes and what she’s gonna make so we can compare notes lol

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

@Cayyykes One of these days we are gonna HAVE to get together and cook for the masses

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

💀

[Trill Withers @TylerIAm]

“Newsflash buddy”

[Jax Off @Clevergr33n]

I’m not sure if it’s a good thing cause I’ve been preparing since summer, BUT I am all done Christmas shopping, presents wrapped, and stockings stuffed