Clyde Chives

Plant man with the plant plan!
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[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

You ever just...

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

Go to a diner and order a ketchup shake to go. Drink it in the lobby while staring at the host. Stand near the seats but don't sit down. Ask them to throw away your cup before leaving.

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

After all these years, the #GameCube is still the only console you could conceivably use for home defense.

[Onii 💜 inactive @Oniixide]

Lil beware
Don’t accept coms from @KobaltENVT
Apparently they’re quitting but just be wary cuz lowkey whenever someone says they’re quitting it just means they’re moving accounts lol

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

Does NYC still look like Mehrunes Dagon is invading?

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

I want to play mass effect while the internet's out, but the EA app needs an internet connection to be set on offline mode.
Great job #EA

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

People seem to love the Big Mac even though it's just a lettuce and bread sandwich with two patties the size of lunchables pepperoni hidden somewhere inside.

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

I hate it when I'm watching youtube shorts and about half of the comments are replying to a really bad one you can't even see. I WANT TO BE MAD TOO, GOD DAMN IT!

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

Genital Inspectors in #Florida: We need proof you're a woman. Undress from the waist down so I can get pictures... Where are you going? I'm calling the police!

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

The beginning of my first death on stream.
I may have made a mistake or two. #kenshi

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

@FURY_X77 Believe me, teeth are coming!

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

Gonna be streaming #kenshi in about 10-15 minutes! It's almost suffering season!

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

See it here https://t.co/X8DPdU5YkR

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

I'm getting back on the horse tonight. Hiatus over!

[Clyde Chives @Clyde_Chives]

Been going to bed early and waking up at midnight for a while, but I finally forced myself to stay up long enough to hang out with people before crashing.

My body's like "That was a nap and there's nothing you can do about it! You wake up at midnight, remember? IT IS YOUR FATE!"

[Alberta You See Pee 🍉✊😷🟠 @youseepeeYYC]

@Marxist777 “Jordan Neely was murdered for being tired of being hungry, thirsty and having no home.”

The suffering of the poor is a feature of capitalism. Not a bug. A feature.

[Marxist777 📕🇵🇸 @Marxist777]

Rest In Peace, Jordan Neely.

[The Serfs (youtube.com/theserftimes) @theserfstv]

Ice bucket challenge for people who try to cure headaches with magnets

[Rep. Zooey Zephyr @ZoAndBehold]

Republicans used a series of procedures to remove every bill from my committees, silencing my constituents beyond what they already voted to do.

My constituents elected me to speak on their behalf—in committee & on the floor—and stopping me from doing so is anti-democratic.