William Blazkowicz

I'm the master pretender, I'm wearing his face, I'm wearing his ring, All hail the king

[William Blazkowicz @CoachEsco]

The whole “yerr” and “deadass” ny stereotype type of jokes have become so unfunny and stale and its always the people that live in bumblefuck NY that love to drag it, they’ll be like “HAHA THATS HOW WE DO IT UP HERE IN ITHACA HAHA DEADASS MY GUY YERRR TIMBS 😭😭”

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

i will never accept the sound of my recorded voice.

[William Blazkowicz @CoachEsco]

this movie used to scare the SHIT OUT OF ME, still watched it like 50 times tho

[Cartoon History @Cartoonhistory2]

28 years ago today, ‘Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island’ released on direct to video.

[(„• ֊ •„) @oatmealluverr]

how it feels sitting infront of someone

[Wizard of Barge @wizardofbarge]

sometimes being too stupid to quit is all it takes 🙂

[ً @artfuIchaos]

it-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization

[gwen howerton @kissphoria]

at the toyota dealership asking them to bring out the trucks ISIS has with the guns on the back

[Planet Of Memes @PlanetOfMemes]

I'm thinking about redecorating my bathroom.

Should I go with the Walmart or Dollar General can liners?

Don't even ask about the Target liners. Those are for special occasions when we have company over.

[MOENG. @thandomoeng]

this can't be the same year we watched fifa world cup in.

[Carbó & Dratto consultora @Llamenme_Jose]

No sé qué cagada se mandó, pero espero que ella lo perdone.

[Jonathan Slater @slater57649]

EVERY CHEF ON TV:
"TODAY I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE
SOMETHING WITH SIMPLE INGREDIENTS EVERYONE HAS IN THEIR PANTRY. I'M STARTING WITH ICELANDIC SEA SALT, YAK BUTTER, A SPRIG OF MOON BASIL AND EXACTLY 3 TEARS FROM A LAUGHING ALPACA

[miya @miyarah_]

me encanta decir sarcásticamente "no" y después hacer lo que esa persona pide

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

STOP THE CAR

[longlivemir @foresthillbaby]

conservatives b talking to grok like jarvis

[erika @yeeeerika]

[me with zero history of restraint] i should treat myself, i deserve it

[Bruno @sigabruninho]

O veterinário falando que o cachorro tava com pressão alta e meu pai respondendo que é uma coisa da nossa família

[ALUTHEDON @Mbakaza4L]

American history books are like:

Slavery was bad but then Lincoln fixed it 😊

Then, segregation was also bad but Malcolm X didn't need to be so mean about it 😡 but MLK went on a biiig walk and fixed racism! The last racist left killed him 😭 but then he went to jail 🎉 the end