👷🏾‍♂️

Sundays are for unhealthy kitchen experiments | Assistant Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin

[Kofi Wiredu™ @Wiredu_]

That Gianni Infantino corruption documentary will hit like crack in 2036.

[dennis @AkainuBerbaric]

Every bill known to man is due again

[🇪🇸 @marigawept]

Salary ilidelay nkainivite my then gf sleepover nikamshow I won't be able to get her treats she's used to labda tukule ugali mayai tudoz akasema tureschedule adi siku kichele itaingia.Niliumwa ajab but atleast that day I knew she's in love with Spiderman not Peter Parker

[Farhiya ✨ @farhiiiyaaa___]

Hate when a Conductor successfully profiles me. Okay sawa this time naenda Eastleigh, lakini tusizoeane.

[Ø @thatniggarhodes]

Told this girl I’m going through my monthly sperm cramps and all she could say was “sorry” 😭

No care package, no stress relief funds… nothing. I hate unintentional women.

[John Doe @StanleyMasinde_]

@ignyharaz2 In fairness she didn’t specify whether she was going to the market to buy or to sell.

Communication is key.

[👷🏾‍♂️ @Coachezz]

Updated my phone and now Dolby Atmos is gone fml

[Hlovo @hlovo_]

You know how drunk you have to be for your own livestock to say “nah that’s enough, let’s go home” 😭😭

[Mwangi🥸 @kanguethes]

Jazzwork na Thukuthela wamebeba a whole genre two man

[Rockstar Chef Ponzi @OmariJB]

Could be talking Wayne Rooney or Lil Wayne. Either way, both are correct.

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

If you look closely you can see that all the beverages already had containers

[Jungle @jwaweruh]

Vile mtakuwa mna tulia beach after tweeting "the beach is calling me"

Wantam siku zombo.

[kyle @knicks_tape99]

CEO of astronomer in his meetings today

[Uncle Daddy Wee-Yum @MrGee54]

The other CEOs as soon as they see the cheating CEO walking into the country club......"you don't bring the side work to a concert man!!!"

[Jay @jaybronious]

That one coworker at Astronomer who always knew something was going on but never had proof until the Coldplay clip came out.

[Nkulunkulu @Nkulunkulu_God]

"Step outside. I want to sweep"

Me:

[KD @3headeddgoat]

*The Daughter

[Carpe Omnia @TheTsarCule]

Kenyans are crazy, they'll go to the Talanta Stadium and chant "Ruto Must Go" at the AFCON Final, Ruto will be sitting in the box with Infantino fuming, I mean FUMING. 😭

[Mihr Thakar @MihrThakar]

Everyone is getting texts saying they owe principal taxes as at 31st December 2023 😂😂😂

[Totty @joellytottila]

Aluta Kibrit, Iran Wing 🆙🆙🆙🤺