Cocky Vancouver

I may be the cockiest man in Vancouver... With good reason. I am just awesome and better than everyone else.

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

marriage should be like a sports contract.You get a 5 year deal and at the end of the contract you can re sign or look at other options.

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

@sarapaigexoo you're describing the perfect scenario and my all time favourite! Well said.

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

@MeggItNastyyy sensational

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

Why is Vancouver the greatest city? That's right.... Because I live here. #cockyforthewin

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

When I dream- I dream about my life.

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

I don't need anyone to teach me how to douggie... Cause all the bitches already do love me! #myproblems #tomuchlovefromsluts #bestever #game

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

I love makeup sex! Anyone want to get into a fight?

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

Reason why every girl wants to keep fucking me? I make them cum... Every time.

Secret to not having clingers? Don't give 100% in the sack!

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

😚
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8=👊===D💦
| \. 💦
| \. 💦💦
👟👟. 🙆💁🙆

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

Inventor and owner of the long zipper jeans! ;)

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

It's only a matter of time until Netflix has porn. #Truth

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

Reasons why I am better than you:

Wardrobe
Hair
Hygiene
Car
House
Your girlfriend- banged
Your wife- banged twice
Looks

#thatisall

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

"You're Ryan gosling hot. Way to hot to be single."

Me: You're Berta from two and a half men ugly. Way to ugly to be flirting with me.

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

I came home and know what I found?
Nothing! Thank god I don't have to come home to a nagging wife like the rest of you saps! #whyimawesome

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

If you make a girl laugh... You have her attention.
If you can make her snort laugh in front of you... You got her hooked.

#whyiambetter

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

I look at you
Then at me
Then back at you
Then back at me.
Thank god I'm not you.
You pray to god you were me.

#whyimawesome

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

Why are women so smart during sex?

Cause we plug in a fucking know-it-all into them ;)

#smartdicksforthewin
#inandout

[Guff @guff]

I put the "D" in "your daughter"

[Cocky Vancouver @CockyVancouver]

Girl: what do you think is a real intimate relationship with a woman.

Me: ummm... Not using a condom?
#nocondomsforthewin #feelsbetter