the worst subs, ranked from 10–1 (10 being the worst) because i feel like it.
10. bm subs
always the brokest. always the neediest. couldn’t pay me enough to fuck up my algorithm.
9. sissies
also somehow always broke, self-centered, overzealous & annoying as hell. lifestyle sissies? different story. the pretenders? NO.
8. “what do i get?” subs
a headache, apparently. if every send comes with an expectation of equal-value goods and services, you’ve completely missed the plot.
7. attention-payment-plan subs
sends $10 and somehow expects 72 consecutive business hours of my undivided attention.
6. brat-with-no-budget subs
being irritating is not a contribution. you cannot brat your way into being interesting enough for me to entertain for free.
5. professional lurkers
been watching for 8 months. knows my entire lore. sees every post within 45 seconds. still hasn’t figured out the part where he actually contributes.
4. “i used to have a domme” subs
okay??? go tell her then. why am i getting a documentary about another woman while you’re trying to impress me?
3. boundary negotiators
every clearly stated rule becomes the opening offer in a negotiation they somehow think they’re qualified to participate in.
2. fantasy whales
talks like he’s prepared to drop $10k and change my life. suddenly discovers unprecedented banking complications when $50 enters the conversation.
1. “i’m different” subs
the moment those words leave your mouth, i know with near absolute certainty that you are about to be exactly like every other man who has ever said them.