Chris D

Android Developer. Organizer GDG Braunschweig.

working at @rewedigital on the future of shopping 🛒.

[Flood 🇪🇺 With Facts 🥇 @Hirn_aus_Hack]

Die Mehrheit der Deutschen weiß nicht, wie sie von Bild, Welt und CDU manipuliert wird, damit Deutschland möglichst lange, möglichst viel Öl und Gas verbrennt.

[GDG Braunschweig @BraunschweigGdg]

Hi #GoogleIO from Braunschweig - Germany
#googleio2025

[GDG Nuremberg @GDGNuernberg]

Alright! We've some big news to announce 📰! DevFest 2024 is coming. So save the date.

🗓️ 9th November
🕙 10 am - 6 pm

DevFest Nuremberg will be a mini conference day packed with interesting talks. Apply now at https://t.co/Yebn10v7Xc

#gdg #devfest24 #devfest #gde

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@OkitaSuperFan

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@spielertrainer_

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@iammemeloper

[Programmer Humor @PR0GRAMMERHUM0R]

LookingAtYouHr https://t.co/1SSu8hY2l6

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

Interesting points about scrum. Number 4 is a problem I also experienced a lot.

[Santiago @svpino]

Scrum is a cancer.

I've been writing software for 25 years, and nothing renders a software team useless like Scrum does.

Some anecdotes:

1. They tried to convince me that Poker is a planning tool, not a game.

2. If you want to be more efficient, you must add process, not remove it. They had us attending the "ceremonies," a fancy name for a buttload of meetings: stand-ups, groomings, planning, retrospectives, and Scrum of Scrums. We spent more time talking than doing.

3. We prohibited laptops in meetings. We had to stand. We passed a ball around to keep everyone paying attention.

4. We spent more time estimating story points than writing software. Story points measure complexity, not time, but we had to decide how many story points fit in a sprint.

5. I had to use t-shirt sizes to estimate software.

6. We measured how much it cost to deliver one story point and then wrote contracts where clients paid for a package of "500 story points."

7. Management lost it when they found that 500 story points in one project weren't the same as 500 story points on another project. We had many meetings to fix this.

8. Imagine having a manager, a scrum master, a product owner, and a tech lead. You had to answer to all of them and none simultaneously.

9. We paid people who told us whether we were "burning down points" fast enough. Weren't story points about complexity instead of time? Never mind.

I believe in Agile, but this ain't agile.

We brought professional Scrum trainers. We paid people from our team to get certified. We tried Scrum this way and that other way. We spent years doing it.

The result was always the same: It didn't work.

Scrum is a cancer that will eat your development team. Scrum is not for developers; it's another tool for managers to feel they are in control.

But the best about Scrum are those who look you in the eye and tell you: "If it doesn't work for you, you are doing it wrong. Scrum is anything that works for your team."

Sure it is.

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

Thanks for having me at #dcbln23 it was so much fun again this time. Learned a lot, met so many old friends and found new ones. Hope to see you again next year.

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@PreusslerBerlin Do you ever sleep? Party hard 24/7. Have fun. 😂🥳

[Berlindroid @Berlindroid]

Thanks @rewedigital for sponsoring our drinks tonight. 🍻🍼🧉🍶🧃

[GDG Braunschweig @BraunschweigGdg]

Hello from Braunschweig #GoogleIO 👋

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@PreusslerBerlin Maybe it is also Googles fault? If you look into the official documentation they still suggest junit 4. https://t.co/nG1iLm8Xvj

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@PreusslerBerlin From the Response subsection, you can modify the response before it's sent to your app. For example, you can set the rule to execute on responses with a specific status code as well as modify that status code.

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@PreusslerBerlin Android Studio flamingo adds kind of this feature to the network is inspector. But I have not tried it out yet. https://t.co/agNUW4LqHp

[Mishaal Rahman @MishaalRahman]

Here is my big thread on what’s new in Android 14 Developer Preview 1. Android 14 DP1 is a MAJOR release so there are a LOT of new features and changes 👀 (thread):

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@PreusslerBerlin

[Ed Holloway-George 🍝 @Sp4ghettiCode]

Thanks so much to those that joined the #AndroidDev space today. If you missed it, the recording is available right now!

Here’s a list of tools and content I talked about that you can look into to make your apps more secure 🧵

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@petto_offiziell

[Chris D @CodeMonkey137]

@nisrulz Discord devs when they decided to switch to react native