Cody Burroughs

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

I guess The Taliban Song doesn't really hold weight anymore.....give it time.

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

The only reason I have an American Express card is because of Major League. And I'm ok with that.
#dontstealhomewithoutit

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

Why am I so fascinated by the amount of Chicago residents that get injured at Starved Rock? Beautiful yes, but its not exactly Mount Everest.

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

@Alyssafarah @jonkarl 7TH GRADE I

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

Most depressing realization. Married almost 14 years.....Ashley has never ever ever made me a sandwich. EVER. And she counts that as cooking.

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

@MichaelKeaton coming back to play Batman is like letting 20 year olds get to see MJ play in the NBA again. CANNOT WAIT.

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

If you are made to where a mask in public and not completing the look of Scorpion, Subzero or Reptile, you are doing it wrong. We may never have this opportunity again.

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

Could the guy who did the Game of Thrones remix send out some new material? The world needs you right now.

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

Your Cub Cadet mower giving you credit for over 7000 steps is highly underrated. #itcounts

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

I'm in a lose lose. Forced to watch the bachelor and interrupted with election updates...

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

@colmone0323 Easy buddy. 😂

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

Riding the stationary and Queens Bycicle comes on? It's a good day.

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

Was going to watch this on the flight home but apparently the Dog never made it. #tooviolent

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

We can't even get jelly bean flavors right. Illinois top flavor for jellybeans? Chocolate. Who in the hell eats chocolate jellybeans?

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

If I was in high school on this date in 1984...I would definitely be the Rebel. #breakfastclub

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

How can you order the KFC Chicken Littles without trying all 4? #sundaygoals

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

Nobody ever talks about the real danger of the Superbowl......leftovers. #24hourfoodcoma

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

@crheider Hahaha. Pretty funny though. He said to make sure your kids are dressed for the cold buses. Hahaha

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

So I'm on El Paso Jr High Schools call list for parents. No idea why. School is on tomorrow kids. But if you dont want to go, it's an excuse absence. What a great Principal. Come if you want rule. Love it. #gotitans

[Cody Burroughs @CodyRB]

PSA. DO NOT WATCH AMERICAN VANDAL SEASON 2 AT WORK......Im such a bad role model.