yeah breakups hurt, but have you ever been a super talkative, enthusiastic person but slowly over the years and after trauma you watch yourself become more quieter and quieter to the point where that enthusiastic bubbly person just isn't who you are anymore?
A woman's brain cannot relax until she feels physically and emotionally safe. Alot of men don't understand how much energy women spend checking that they're safe. Providing an environment where she can turn that part of her brain off lets her truly settle into her femininity.