Joe Coffey

Keypads are mightier than the sword

[John Cleese @JohnCleese]

H L Mencken said

'Nobody ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people'

Especially those who think the price of gas is more important than defending democarcy

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

I’m going to bring back “indubitably” … just so I can concur with a smokescreen of Monopoly guy ’tude meets Thurston Howell III snark.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Hey Alexa, play Miles Davis. Not the weird sh**. Just the good sh**.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Sooooo... all those '50s songs about 'staying true' ... Were they talking about not breaking up or not giving up the goods on the side?

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Dog lover here. But, no Disney. I don’t think anyone was hoping for a Turner and Hooch reboot series. 🤦🏻‍♂️

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Thinking about bringing back taa taa… or maybe toodle-loo.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Trail mix with M&Ms… I used to think chocolate was unnecessary. Then I tried trail mix with white chocolate chips. Oh, it’s necessary.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

I wonder what today’s equivalent of the Dodge Neon is.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

That micro-millisecond when something new pops up in the exact spot you’re already clicking down on… Boom.. you’ve unwittingly clicked on something you didn’t mean to click on. That pretty much sums up my life.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Potluck participant who brings the crockpot BBQ weenies – hero or hack?

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Let’s talk diversity. Join me and some dialed-in panelists for a Clubhouse chat this Thursday morning. DM me if you need a CH invite.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Life pro tip: Roll the dice and order the seafood chimi. They’ll occasionally exceed exceed expectations.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

@TacosNTherapy I’ve got your boys going far in my bracket

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

CDC says students can now be 3 feet apart. That's great, but when are Costco samples coming back?

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

I wonder how much of the negativity in the world is just overcompensation for fear that gives way to overcompensation for learning curve difficulties that give way to reluctant change.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

*Gust of wind rattles my window.
*Me: What an interesting word... 'gust.'
*Me: I wonder if someone owns https://t.co/o0p69pl8xC
*Me: Goes to that URL... yup. Someone owns it.

Am I the only person who constantly does this?

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Funny thing, that feeling of relief when a team you don’t root for loses a championship game after not going for it on 4th and goal with 2 min left. Not my heartache.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Chives in a loaded baked potato situation – those unassuming vegetal specks execute their unsung role so dutifully. They deserve more praise.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Just dried sheets and somehow lost an entire pillowcase. The rebel laundry forces in charge of single sock teleportation kidnapping have apparently made gains in technology and brazenness.

[Joe Coffey @CoffeyGrande]

Observation: 94.3% of strength coaches in college football programs are stout, bald, white guys.