Jamison | Coherent Dad

Regulate instead of detonate💥Combat vet trained in HeartMath & somatic regulation | Your kid borrows your nervous system. I teach the mechanism | ExpatDad of 2

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

https://t.co/D333AmHTpC

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

@readswithravi Looking in the mirror and not flinching, now that's the real work. Not self-criticism, not delusion. Just clear eyes and still choosing yourself. Hardest thing I've trained. But it is trainable. Daily reps, same as the gym. You don't get there all at once. You build it.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

You lost it. You apologized. Your kid said "it's okay daddy" and moved on. But you can't.

That's not guilt. Guilt says "I did something bad." Guilt points at the behavior and is actually useful. It drove the apology.

What you're in now is shame. Shame says "I am something bad." And shame doesn't want repair, it wants to hide. Which means the thing keeping you stuck isn't the moment with your kid, it's the story your nervous system is running about who you are.

The rupture happened. The repair happened. Your kid's attachment to you is not broken by one bad morning. Research on emotion-coaching parents is clear: the repair matters more than the rupture. Kids don't need a perfect parent. They need one who comes back.

You came back. That's the whole job.

The question worth sitting with is why your nervous system won't let you accept the same thing your kid already gave you.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

Meeting people where they are is the real skill. And yeah, it can be trained.

Circling taught me this directly. Four years of sitting with people, tracking what's landing vs. what's bouncing off. You stop performing explanation and start sensing the person in front of you.

That's awareness practice doing real work.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

@PathOfMen_ The self-deception doesn't just corrupt your values. It pulls you out of your own life. You stop being the main character. You're just watching some guy go through the motions, and the movie is boring, and you can't leave the theater.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

The brain creating safety is step one. But "feeling safe" isn't a thought, it's a body state the brain reads, not produces.

Coherence in the heart rhythm actually signals the brain to downregulate threat. Bottom-up, not top-down.

Mind changes brain. Body confirms it. Then homeostasis follows.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

@theo_jil Lazy isn't the right word. Most people avoid discomfort because it genuinely feels like danger to the nervous system. That's not weakness, that's wiring.

The real skill is learning to stay present when your energy starts to shift. That's the actual entry price.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

There's actual science here. Your heart emits an electromagnetic field detectable 3-5 feet away. HeartMath research shows that field shifts measurably with your internal state. Coherent people aren't just "good vibes", their nervous systems are literally broadcasting a different signal. You co-regulate toward it without trying.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

You know the moment. You're fine, then you're not, and your kid is looking at you like you're a stranger.

Most dads think regulation is about what happens at the peak, the deep breath, the timeout, the walk around the block. But the peak is the last stop on a train you could've stepped off ten stations back. Tight shoulders. Shallow chest. A kind of flat irritability that doesn't feel like anger yet. Those are the early signals. Interoceptive awareness is just the trained ability to catch them before the cascade locks in.

The biology is simple: once cortisol and adrenaline are already running hot, your window to intervene shrinks fast. Catch the signal early and you have options. Miss it and you're managing wreckage.

The repair matters. But what's worth building is the earlier read.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

@RobertGreene Greene's framing is strategic. Show flaws to manage perception.

But there's a deeper reason to drop the mask: carrying it costs you. The energy spent maintaining an invulnerable image is energy your kids and partner never get.

Authenticity isn't a tactic. It's load-bearing.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

The commitment is the thing. Not the streak.

I've gone weeks staying regulated, then blown it on a Tuesday over nothing. What keeps me going isn't the wins, it's deciding the version of dad I'm building toward is worth the failures along the way.

Being the role model you wish you had. That reframe changes everything for me.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

Your nervous system is already tracking this. Every person, habit, and environment you're in is either a regulated or dysregulated input. Your body knows before your brain does.

The hard part isn't changing your environment. It's building the discernment to accurately read what's filling you vs. draining you. That takes real time to train.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

Nonchalance without self-knowledge is just detachment. People feel the difference.

The real version only shows up when you've done enough inner work that you genuinely don't need the outcome. That's not passive. That's a practice. And most people mistake the performance of not caring for the actual thing.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

Calling it a gift lets people off the hook. Some are wired for it early, sure. But adaptability is downstream of nervous system regulation. And that's trainable. Same way you build muscle. Most guys I know who seem "naturally" adaptable just have lower baseline threat responses. That's physiology, not luck.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

@unkonfined The hardest part isn't the climb. It's deciding to move when everything in you says stay down.

That takes more than strength. It takes trust that the other side exists.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

@thought_harbor Real ownership isn't just a mindset shift. Something actually reorganizes at the physiological level. The body stops bracing. Your nervous system stops running the defensive loop. From that new baseline, you literally make different decisions. That's not metaphor.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

@MANSOORNABI12 Peace isn't something you protect by avoiding. It's something you build by training your nervous system to stay regulated when chaos shows up anyway.

Walking away from what doesn't matter - yes. But "protect your peace" as a life strategy? That's avoidance dressed up as wisdom.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

@hvgoenka The destination framing tricks the mind into deferring the internal work. You keep waiting for external conditions to shift your state. They rarely do, and even when they do, it's temporary. The source was always internal.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

Some habits from scarcity aren't assets you carry forward. They're survival responses that outlived their usefulness.

Grew up poor. Still catch myself hoarding, avoiding, bracing. That's not discipline. That's a nervous system that never got the all-clear.

Worth auditing which ones still serve you.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

@thought_harbor Keeping promises to yourself is where integrity actually starts. Break enough of those small commitments and you start to unconsciously believe you can't be trusted. That erosion bleeds everywhere. Honor them and the opposite happens.

[Jamison | Coherent Dad @CoherentDad]

Overthinking is mostly a nervous system problem dressed up as a thinking problem. The brain loops when it doesn't feel safe enough to commit.

Build a daily grounding practice. It isn't a productivity hack. It's a state reset. Clears the threat signal. Then simple action actually feels possible.