College Humor

The funniest College based tweets online! [email protected]

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

HS Teachers: “There’s still a minute left of class, sit down!”

College Teachers: “We still have 20 mins left but I’m done teaching so bye”

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

Current mood https://t.co/NWEKd8BPey

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

"How's your semester going so far?"
Me:
https://t.co/jqshDWQvHc

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

when the food is taking too long

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

When you trying to explain to Jesus why you didnt retweet the RT if you love god post

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

I love everybody.

Some I love to be around.

Some I love to avoid.

And some I’d love to punch in the face.

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

when she changes your life forever
https://t.co/vFnDHExLoq

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

Do I give a fuck?

N
　 O
　　　 O
　　　　 o
　　　　　o
　　　　　 o
　　　　　o
　　　　 。
　　　 。
　　　.
　　　.
　　　 .
　　　　.

Bitch

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

I think my dog just died a little bit on the inside when I didn't give her the last bite of my burger

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

ME

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

“I don’t like you”

Me:

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

Snapchat update has everyone like http://t.co/FKjq7bfFuF

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

Alternative phrases to "calm your tits":

- soothe your boobs
- hakuna your tatas
- give that chest a rest
- don't have a rack attack

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

pretending to study in front of your parents like

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

me getting ready in the morning

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

my stages of drunk are:

1. “I’m not even buzzed yet.”
2. *sitting in the wet grass somewhere with my shoes off eating Pizza

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

when you hear a voice in your room

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

theres a special place in hell

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

Legit though 😒
https://t.co/ejM9TpWgtV

[College Humor @ColIegeHumor_]

did anyone do this as a kid?