Colby Kennedy

Colby Kennedy is a living comedian. He has contributed to the Onion, Functionally Dead, Chicago Sketchfest, Austin Film Festival's second round and more!

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

The U.S. and England match was everything that traditionalists want soccer to be – unwatchably boring. #fifa #worldcup https://t.co/1Mgr0V6scN

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Ime Udoka has zero character and integrity which makes him a perfect fit for the @brooklynnets #nba https://t.co/xjxmZOjmWi

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

The @BrooklynNets hiring Ime Udoka perfectly fits into their culture of having zero character and integrity. #nba

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Me at immigration wondering if I remembered my passport #draymondgreen #goldenstatewarriors #nba https://t.co/J4JfTcgEn1

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

The American healthcare system can provide you everything you need except help. @NorthwesternMed #healthcare

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Dan Fields: “These car prices are as INSANE as my haircut!” #cars #badhaircut https://t.co/L6Rh7eXQrI

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

The Bears Commanders game is so depressing, therapy is on the menu at the concession stands. #chicagobears #washingtoncommanders #nfl https://t.co/ghTYy0dlDt

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Turn right if you can’t find your mom. Go straight if you can’t find your W2. #adulting https://t.co/ObgMYc6XlZ

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

If I have a heart attack and no one visits me in the hospital, I’ll know why – spam filters. #safetyfirst #emergency https://t.co/202Y9m0yWG

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Colts/Broncos is, without mercy, going into overtime. Thoughts and prayers are with the fans. #thoughtsandprayers #nfl #indianpoliscolts #denverbroncos https://t.co/PnwWcj355m

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Watching the Broncos & Colts is so depressing the first 1,000 fans at the stadium were given Prozac. #indianapoliscolts #denverbroncos #nfl https://t.co/hPY0VTRrAx

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Codly Kennedy is my next stage Pokémon evolution. #gottacatchemall #office #name https://t.co/D13vwulagd

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Digital doors – for when looking through glass is just too much #invention #genius https://t.co/PQOYnmBv2I

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

CAMP WALNUT is in the 2nd round of the Austin Film Festival! Here’s the secret to success. @austinfilmfest #AFF #austinfilmfestival

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD. This duck just bought an eighth of coke from an old man. #laparks #duck #warondrugs https://t.co/Y2fuul6Gt7

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Me: I do comedy.

Lady: Have you been in anything I recognize?

Me: Tears.

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

I'm so depressed trying to buy a car in this market that I've resorted to looking for a used 2013 handgun. #HONDA #TOYOTA #SUBARU

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

Happy birthday to the greatest country in the world– no … universe! #USA #Happy4thofJuly #American

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

I hate Chicago Pride Parade. I’m not anti gay. I’m pro getting places on time. #Pride #gay #happypride #LGBTQIA

[Colby Kennedy @ColbyjKennedy]

My long haired cat gets poop in her hair and spreads it around the apartment which is annoying because that used to be my thing. #CatsOfTwitter