L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E

coffee, green drink, kombucha, repeat.

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

if Trump loses, he's going to be a fucking nightmare to deal with.
if Trump wins, he's going to be a fucking nightmare to deal with.
lucky us

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

If you look in a mirror and chant “I am the least racist person in the room” 3 times fast, Abraham Lincoln appears. #vote

[Jemele Hill @jemelehill]

I have no idea who did this, but if you know, find them and tag them. One of the best things I’ve seen on this app this week

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

I really thought bras were going to be the biggest bummer of going back to office... turns out it’s shoes.

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to vote each and everyone one of these vile racist shitweasels straight the fuck out of office this November

[Seth Rogen @Sethrogen]

Always be more critical of the people upholding the racist system than the ones who are fighting against it.

[Overheard @realoverheardla]

*Zoom Call

"What are you wearing?"

"These are my work pajamas."

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but nobody cares about your cat.

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

I can’t wait for quarantine to be over solely so Instagram stops notifying me that every brand I follow is “now live.”

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

Do yourself a favor and don’t put on your jeans.

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

I had the craziest dream where we were stuck at home for 2 months and the world became obsessed with a Tiger documentary then the President told the county to inject itself with Lysol. Can you imagine?

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

Husband: *hands me something to hold*
Me: *realizes it’s his gum* ARE YOU SERIOUS?

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

Should I wear an oversized t-shirt and leggings today... or an oversized t-shirt and leggings?

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

Yoo, I’m gonna need more about Doc Antle here. Can we get like a “Real Tiger Wives Myrtle Beach??” @BravoTV

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

My boss: If the CDC closes the school district, then we’ll close.
Me: *googles LAUSD closures religiously*

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

Me: Your hair is really ugly.
Husband: Be nice.
Me: I feel like that is being nice by telling you before you go in public.

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

I just realized someone should probably tell Trump that Atlantic City isn’t in Atlanta.

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

You know what’s worse than your sock sliding off in your shoe? When the crotch of your underwear is slowly ripping out with each step because the elasticity of your panties is ruined. 🤷🏼‍♀️ #WednesdayWisdom

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

I think it’s really rude I can’t Postmates In and Out.

[L I N D S A Y ✨ M A R I E @ColdBrewBlonde]

Grandpa: Merry Christmas! What are you guys up to today?
Me (in my head): Ripping the bong and watching hours of planet earth.