that guy

unpredict your journey

[Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman]

At this point we should probably just be called the states of america

[jRemy @Shower_Capy]

I could stop it

[parker @momappreciator]

why they call it a marijuana dispensary and not a gas station??

[Marina Kittaka 橘高 ⚔️Angeline Era!🌿 @even_kei]

Kids these days will never know the hardships of each week having to overcook a fresh hardboiled egg yolk for the computer mouse

[gilk @thegilkman]

Boys if you ever feel bad about a purchase just remember girls would spend like $600 on a prom dress and wear it to go eat at the Olive Garden and dance in the high school gym.

[AM | TEM.DJ @AdrianMarxis]

Wife beater still a wild name for an article of clothing

[toxic king @toxicking]

Y’all checking Snapchat while on the aux.. come on bro let’s be professional. Please.

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

Yeah well that mf better get ready too

[connor m @connormiltn]

why is it so awkward walking back after u bowI in bowling

[milk @milkinhisbag]

i’ve never had sex but i’m assuming it feels just like the first sip of a crisp baja blast

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Wishing good vibes for all in 2nd half 2020

[Pastor Ben @BenjaminPDixon]

This shit is cold blooded but 100% factual.

[James @CaucasianJames]

eating a muffin thinking about how fucked we all are

[scottysire @ImNotScottySire]

“what will i fuck up next?” he asks himself.

[Lindsay Beyerstein @beyerstein]

Did the virus write this?