Coley

[Coley @Coleypunch]

Hey @Hertz when I log in to book a car it triples the price I was quoted when I was not logged in.

[emily may @emilykmay]

I cannot get over that when I was 8-10 years old I would call my dad AT WORK and speak with a SECRETARY (“sorry honey! He’s in a meeting!”) and idk if my 12yo knows how to make a telephone call.

[Coley @Coleypunch]

Husband and I decided we would be very bad at dating so we will stick together forever.

Love that man.

[Coley @Coleypunch]

My neighbor is having an album release party and his mom just came out to shut it down. #lbc

[Coley @Coleypunch]

There is no way you are cancelling Target but keep fighting your ignorant fight.

[Christian Nightmares @ChristnNitemare]

Jesus Christ…

[Coley @Coleypunch]

I was on a flight today and the guy next to me put the arm rest up between us but not the one between he and his wife’s seat. I think he needs to be in jail.

[Katie Rich @katiemaryrich]

This is the perfect finale to Twitter

[Coley @Coleypunch]

I know we were pretty mad at Paltrow for the bone broth thing but I was really rooting for her against that weirdo.

[Shannon Watts @shannonrwatts]

THIS is last year's Christmas card from Tennessee Rep. Andy Ogles, a Republican who represents the district that Covenant School is in in Nashville. #tnleg

[Coley @Coleypunch]

Free breakfast and lunch at public schools should be very normal.

[Coley @Coleypunch]

The hotel I have been staying at for 2 nights asked me to move to a different room for my final night to avoid the loud noise at the hotel bar. Well, now I’m directly on top of the hotel bar for salsa night.

[Coley @Coleypunch]

Funemployment day 1: mostly naps

[Coley @Coleypunch]

The amount of stress involved in getting you small human into preschool is ridiculous.

[Coley @Coleypunch]

@juliaschrenkler My mom died 4 years ago and I was the one who personally cancelled her phone plan but I will never delete her contact info. Keep them with you however you can!

[Coley @Coleypunch]

Would buy every day.

[Coley @Coleypunch]

Hi @DoorDash my food should have showed up in the bag.

[Coley @Coleypunch]

It takes a special kind of evil to gives street sweeping tickets to parents trying to safely pick their children up from school @LongBeachCity

[Coley @Coleypunch]

I think about how much this annoys me but then I think about my kid’s teacher. She has to hate water bottles more than me. She is constantly being asked to find them.

[Rhyming Mama @sarabellab123]

I swear, if my daughter loses ONE MORE water bottle I’m gonna march right down…to Target and buy her another fucking water bottle.

[Coley @Coleypunch]

One of the things I am most proud of is that I don’t know what a try guy is.

[Coley @Coleypunch]

@KLM you have decided to fly this plane for AMS to Budapest empty after you spent 12 hours rebooking people?!