colin

just jokes

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

oh dang i haven’t used this app since el*n bought it but thanks for sharing my comedy here and stuff

i’ll be on the other apps if you wanna see my comedy more frequently

[Abier @abierkhatib]

Zionist: I don’t accept the joke

Colin Armstrong: “I don’t care lol”

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

the barista at this coffee shop im in is playing the same one direction song on repeat happy pride month all

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

hey i found where you live

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

yes i would like one bagel please. just kidding you fucking idiot i would like two bagels please

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

they should make shazam but for when you lose your wallet

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

i got that dog in me (blue from blues clues)

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

why does anyone even go to political rallies like yeah i actually saw biden live back in 09’ shit was nuts

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

ik what happens in vegas stays in vegas but what if someone thinks of the cure for cancer at the blackjack table or something

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

bro when i see a pic of a cute animal i just like it on sight im built like that son i don’t give a fuck about your feelings it’s really that simple

[The sunny side of Franz Kafka @AmschelKavka]

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Franz Kafka, 1912.

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

@hashtag_skyler dude literally

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

i know it’s like a dystopian threat to our democracy or whatever but these are soooo funny

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

they should invent a tea kettle that makes a different noise

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

ya never hear about anyone suffering with longness of breath that sounds way worse

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

@Wall_Dough o ya

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

hey does anyone know where i can get one of those giant pairs of scissors that they use to cut ribbons at ceremonies? i think they’d be fun to run with

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

wait do i need to watch the first 56 superbowls to get this one ??

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

at a coffee shop watching this woman have a zoom session with her therapist and ive never seen someone assert their dominance like this

[scary ruby innes @rubyinnes]

my stonehenge theory? big pants for the huge boys

[colin @ColinArmstrongg]

when boy cows eat grass thats called the male graze