Colin Shay

“You know I just grab a nugget when I can.”

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

The things I’d do for an ice cream sandwich 🤫

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

🎶 “In a meadow, we can build a snowman
We'll pretend that he is @bradhoffmann
He'll say, "Are you married?"
We'll say, "No, man
But you can do the job while you're in town" 🎶

[Drew Gooden @drewisgooden]

Twitter for Hot Dog

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

@benrector @jcorkecu Wait I thought people said not to end on a cover

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

@joshill24 Pshhh you think this is uncanny???
Look at how the twitter algorithm is making you look insensitive.

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

@joshill24 I will not tolerate this propaganda any longer.

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

@steelers .....🦆

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

Thank you @jonasbrothers for making “Don’t Throw it Away” the official theme song of how I feel when I don’t know if my friends family recycles or not and I don’t know what to do.

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

Nobody:

Faith eating Popeyes:

-“you know chicken is really only good if it’s fried”

-“Omg this one looks like a seal!”

*senses 4 seconds of silence*

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

“With my bean and my sombrero my candy is never far away”

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

How to intimidate your friends so they give you more respect: Instead of saying “I beg to differ” say “I beg to sniff her”. This is a sure fire way to spice things up.

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

So in “Like the World is Going to End” by @benrector, he sings that if he found out the world was going to end on Tuesday morning he’d take all his friends and family out to California...well hate to tell y’all but he just took a trip to Cali soooo watch out.

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

It’s easiest best not to understand

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

Out

[Maddi_Gascon @MaddiGascon]

in

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

I like big eggs, itty bitty eggs, Mississippi eggs, inner city eggs, I like the pretty eggs with the bow tie 🎶

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

Me: babe I had a dream last night and you were in it. It was so funny.

Faith literally every morning: yeah well I had a dream you broke up with me/cheated on me/was mean to me/didn’t want to hug me/moved across the country to find yourself and didn’t even say bye.

Me: oh sorry

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

PSA: Wawa has an ep on Spotify all about Hoagiefest and it slaps. You’re welcome.

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

If you squeeze anything hard enough it’ll produce milk

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

If God touches your heart....does he have to ask for consent?

Asking for a friend

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

@ChipotleTweets Virginia Center Parkway. Happens every time.

[Colin Shay @ColinMShay]

Dear @ChipotleTweets,
How come I can set my online order to be ready at 8:30 and yet at 8:49 I’m sitting here waiting for my order to be made while 2 employees and 4 other customers go through the whole line and get their food...