Collin

nwmsu
my life's definitive proof of murphy's law

[Collin @Collin4077]

Me: "What was that?"
Them: "That was a mistake."

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Trouble making Memorial Day plans? Don’t worry, you’ll be dead very soon and you’ll come to know that there’s no god and that one second of blackness is already eternity

Please continue to enjoy arbys

[Collin @Collin4077]

I don't believe this tweet got the recognition it deserved...

[Collin @Collin4077]

Okay here me out, a program that teaches inmates how to write literature called Prose and Cons

[Collin @Collin4077]

"There's only one big mama"
~@preciousstarlin

[Collin @Collin4077]

@ComedyIncImprov I've never seen someone not want to grow up so much that they're still a part of their college improv group after graduation.

[Collin @Collin4077]

@ComedyIncImprov Why do you look like you're secretly the evil stepmom in a Disney movie?

[Collin @Collin4077]

@ComedyIncImprov Megan looks like a constipated Elvira.

[Collin @Collin4077]

@ComedyIncImprov Allison absolutely LOVES being historian during the annual Comedy Inc roast because it's the only time she gets notifications on her phone.

[Collin @Collin4077]

@ComedyIncImprov Can someone please tell me WHY when Andy goes to Shooters he looks like an extra in an Off-Broadway version of Grease.

[Collin @Collin4077]

@NW_UPD Stick

[Collin @Collin4077]

@NW_UPD Stick

[Collin @Collin4077]

This is it. The planet is warming. People are starving. The gods are dying. Humanity as we know it is ending.

[Does Noodle Have Bones @NoodlesBonesDay]

No reading today, Noodle is taking a sick day. However, @jongraz has asked for you friends to comment on his tiktok or his Instagram your favorite Animal Shelter and he’ll pick 5 to donate to, how amazing! Have a good day lovely humans 🥰 #AdoptDontShop

[Collin @Collin4077]

I don't know what day it is but it ain't Wednesday. Fight me.

[Does Noodle Have Bones @NoodlesBonesDay]

Official HALLOWEEN BONES WEEKEND! stay spooky, stay safe 🎃👻 #bonesWeekend

[drlearnalot, totally unsupervised @DrLearnALot]

USE THE POWER

[Collin @Collin4077]

"you can get grain from corn"

...😶

@sabrinacsmith

[Nick Jr. @nickjr]

So about that time Steve went off to college… #BluesClues25

[Collin @Collin4077]

I hate when my coworkers try to talk to me on my lunch break, like I'm in the middle of fantasizing I'm not here stfu

[Collin @Collin4077]

@sabrinacsmith: what's that
Me: my knee
Her: that's your knee
Me: yeah, why
Her: it feels weird

[Collin @Collin4077]

Okay here me out, a program that teaches inmates how to write literature called Prose and Cons