gooseman

dork enthusiast , mentally retarded, won 2025’s local salsa championship (LSC25)

[gooseman @ColosalCunt]

Since it’s pink gremlin day prepare for retweets of varying degrees of sfw and nsfw, consider this a warning 🥀

[Team Salvato @TeamSalvato]

It turns out today (July 30th) is Natsuki's birthday! Happy birthday, Natsuki!

[gooseman @ColosalCunt]

I had to call in and wait 2 days after my AR lower came cause the middle aged fudd who ran the LGS didnt look hard enough for a stripped lower, I had to show the UPS delivery email to him in person to make him find it

[Spike @spikesguides]

Am I the only one with terrible gun stores around him? Is this uniquely a me thing?

>go to LGS
>2 guys behind counter
>Notice weird high pitch chattering sound but try to ignore it
>Heavy boomer and a middle aged guy
>1 guy affixed to display case (also boomer) jabbering to heavy boomer
"Hey I'm here to do a form 4 for a suppressor, my name is..."
>Heavy boomer interrupts
"Use the kiosk"
>There's a sad SilencerCo kiosk in the corner
>Try to sign in but each keystroke requires a few seconds of processing time
>Whole time heavy boomer is jabbering to the display case boomer about his time as a police sergeant
>Mostly terrible stories about pulling people over and issuing citations
>Kiosk suddenly freezes
"Hey the kiosk isn-"
>Middle aged guy comes over
"Sorry its an old machine, just keep trying. This happened yesterday"
>Try again for 10 minutes
>Middle aged guy sighs
"Here, try it on my laptop instead"
>Display case boomer flees as I approach and leaves
>Approach laptop and notice the chattering from earlier is louder
>Notice that it's not chattering
>It's a voice
>Its a TikTok brainrot voice
>Look over my shoulder
>Boomer has a TikTok storytime compilation running on his phone
>Its been running THIS ENTIRE TIME
>It's all slop stories written by obvious AI about petty revenge
>He must sit here all day listening to these
>Nobody else seemed to notice
>Am I the only one who hears it!?
>Did I die in the parking lot and end up in purgatory?
>Finish on the laptop when middle aged guy comes back
"Kiosk is working now. Wanna just fill it in there?"
>Go back to kiosk and fill out everything a second time
>Hit submit
>It freezes again
>Middle aged guy looks at me
"Just try again"
>Try again
"Give it 5 minutes"
>Wait 5 minutes
>He chimes in
"Oh you filled out everything on the laptop, you're good! We'll call you when the ATF approves it!"
>Exit the store and hear the TikTok slop fade

Every LGS in my area is some flavor of fudd-infested brainrot or hyper l33t pr0 tactical shooterman shootbang store that primarily sells Sig products with a large selection of Crye and 5.11 clothes.

This is why everyone wants home deliveries on firearms and NFA stuff, man. This sucks.

[ブロ松 @Brolymatsumoto]

!?工エエェ(ﾟ〇ﾟ ;)ェエエ工!?
お誕生日🎂おめでとうナツキちゃん！！！！！！！！🎉🎊💐👏♥️
いつまでも大好きです💛❤️💙🩵💜🩷💚😘💕︎︎✨🫶🫶✨💕︎︎😘💛❤️💙🩵💜🩷💚

ていうかこのカッコかわいすぎるナツキ(゜▼ﾟ´＊)ｶﾞﾃｨ!?（⑉︎♡ﾔﾊﾞｲ🫣💗😻🥺🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷( * ֦ơωơ֦)💠

[みはむ @miham_moni]

ナツキ誕生日おめでとう🎉(再掲)

[けいと/恵徒 @keito_nagumo]

Happy birthday Natsuki🎂🎉🥳

[Neruru @Yananeruu]

🐱🩷
#DDLC #DokiDokiLiteratureClub

[Xubi 🎨 @Xubi_Vt]

Heaven forbid a girl tries to cool off in this heat 😠💢

#animeart
#digitalartㅤㅤㅤㅤ
#ddlc
#natsuki

[Aurora @TheArtistAurora]

going on vacation for a few weeks, I should actually return with 100% of my power

[Aurora @TheArtistAurora]

bunsuki

[Aurora @TheArtistAurora]

Natki

[Aurora @TheArtistAurora]

Thinking about making a sequel to this

[Aurora @TheArtistAurora]

WIP Its smug aura mocks me

[Aurora @TheArtistAurora]

Nat has a very important message for you

[Aurora @TheArtistAurora]

Attempting to pet the Nat is risky #DDLC #DDLCPlus

[Aurora @TheArtistAurora]

Some of my favorite nats for nat day

[gooseman @ColosalCunt]

@itsanchover God I wish I had that shirt

[ExspiravitBag @ExspiravitBag]

happy birthday to the sugar to my days, Natsuki
yippie

[gooseman @ColosalCunt]

@ExspiravitBag Happi bday to pink gremlin we all love, and also thanks for all the peak nat art ya have made over time gamer its truly 👌

[あつしぼ @itukadokokade_]

こーゆう顔ってなんかええよな

[Pit Viper Patriot 🇺🇸 @FrontierMinded]

If i had to sell myself into slavery for 10 years in some African country I probably would if that meant she was real and I could marry her

[Pit Viper Patriot 🇺🇸 @FrontierMinded]

Good morning. I love cold summer mornings.