Comedy Daily

Daily Jokes and Fun Facts

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Q: Why was the rooster so unhappy?
A: He only got laid once, and it was by his mother.

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

I'm about to have my favorite alcoholic drink. It's called a lot.

#ComedyDaily #Comedy #Joke

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

If you think these jokes are hilarious, you should see my life choices.
#ComedyDaily

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Alcohol should be served in Capri Sun pouches.
When you can no longer get the straw in the hole, you've had enough.
#ComedyDaily #Comedy

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

There's always that one kid in PE who thinks it's the f*cking Olympics.
#ComedyDaily #Comedy #Joke

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally. #Comedy #ComedyDaily #Joke

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

I am more pissed off than a dragon trying to blow out candles.
#ComedyDaily

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

why do midgets laugh while running through the yard?
The grass tickles their nuts
#ComedyDaily #Comedy #jokes

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Taco Bell doesn't have a playground, because it's hard to have fun when you might shit your pants at any minute.
#ComedyDaily #Comedy

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Sometimes I like to hide my wife's inhaler so the neighbors think I'm a stallion when they hear her panting "Give it to me! #ComedyDaily

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said "hey that's my shit!" #Comedy #ComedyDaily

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally. #ComedyDaily #Comedy #Joke

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Ask this question to someone next time they're drunk or high.
"On a scale of 1 to 10, what's your favorite color in the alphabet?" #Comedy

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

I must have a great butt, because every time I finish talking to someone and start to walk away. I hear them whisper 'what an ass' #Comedy

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I dont get it.
Dad: Exactly...
#Comedy #ComedyDaily

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her backyard? Neither did she. #comedy #ComedyDaily

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Jack and Jill went up a hill,
So Jack could lick her candy,
Well Jack got a shock and mouthful of cock, 'Cause Jill's real name was randy.

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
#jokes #ComedyDaily #Comedy

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice.

Except for Chris Brown. #ComedyDaily #ChrisBrown

[Comedy Daily @ComdeyDaily]

When did the VMA'S turn into Viewing Miley's Ass? #MileyCyrus #ComedyDaily #JokeOfTheDay